September has burnt me to a crisp. It brought a new (very neddy) baby, 2 nasty infections, one with a revolting round of antibiotics, barely escaped being admitted to the hospital, back to school and sleep deprivation. Fortunately James was home basically the whole month or I would not have survived.
I missed sweet Marie's first day of school and it broke my heart. She didn't mind much it seemed. I still want to cry thinking about it. I worked so hard towards it to have every thing ready and picture perfect. It was. Only I was missing in the picture.
James has cooked, cleaned, attend all the start of school meetings with teachers that I usually go to, made sure the kids got good slots for piano lessons and even tough he was home for a month it seemed I rarely saw him. He was out runnikg kids to and from appointments and made sure to shield me from the daily challenges of normal life, He took me to the doctor, and was available 24/7 when I was sick.
The last 4 weeks have been rough. Harder on me physically and mentally than I expected. And I expected things to be bad. Now exactly one month after my last post I would be lying if I said I was back to normal. I am not even back to functional. But at least I feel like I can one day be normal again.
I will rise like Phoenix from the ashes. Watch me.
Realizing I was a hoarder was both a shock and a relief. A shock, because nobody wants to have a mental disorder. A relief, because my situation finally had a name. I found people who could relate. Knowing the problem helps solving it. I can step aside and look at the situation from a more neutral point of view. Why am I blogging about it? 2 reasons. 1. Putting my thoughts into words helps me think more clearly. 2. If this helps just one, who is like me, see the light it was more than worth it!
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