Why is it so hard to enjoy things right now? I went for a walk, beautiful weather and 3 of my children with me, yet I ended up sitting on a bench crying. Maybe I should have left the children at home. So I could have gone at my own pace. But than I would have felt bad for not taking them. A friend of mine has a different philosophy. She says:"The parents were there first. The children came later. Therefore the children's needs come after the parent's needs." Well. Yes. I can see how you draw that conclusion. But I invited these children to join my family. For the fulfillment of many of their needs they depend on me. There has to be balance in my opinion. And priorities. For many times I went walking Mo-Fr. At 6 am. First with a friend, then by myself, then with another friend. It was possible cause I was selfish and went to bed at 10 pm. I told James I was not going to watch another movie or show as I needed my sleep so I would get up at 6 am to walk. I have been attempting to walk again at 6 am. But merely trying to get out of bed at 6 is the wrong approach. Getting to bed at 10 pm is the way to do it. I'll be selfish and stop watching that much TV. Take last night. We saw a movie I didn't care much about. The plot was boring and I was blogging and on FB with the movie running on the side. I would have been better off in bed. Bevor we started the movie I was looking for my laptop and couldn't find it. Thought without my laptop I won't watch anything. There you go. I don't even want to watch it. Curfew 10 pm. I can do this.
And hopefully soon I will be able to enjoy things again.
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