CHEER ME ON

Do cheer me on. I desperately need it. I was a good girl and tackled the baskets today. I took care of 2 with just minor cheats. I may or may not have dumped the last few items of basket #1 into the next basket that I did NOT tackle today. Either way. 2 baskets are empty and returned to their proper use. Laundry. I got this. Right?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

What am I thankful for? I guess in connection to hoarding I am thankful for my support in my online forum. I am thankful for James, who is understanding, never pushy and seems to know how to deal with it without having to be told. I am thankful for the progress I made and for the faith people have in me. I am espeically thankful that I have learned to take "small bites" and that I am not creating huge messes when the intention is to declutter and clean up.

STILL AT IT

Yes. I am still at it. I have done so well these last few weeks. I  have cleared at least 1 box a day Mo-Sa. Sometimes more. The girls room feels SO MUCH BETTER. The attic. Oh well. Lets not talk about it. I really can't tell that I did anything up there. James claims it looks so much better. I only see what is left to do.

I am not sure what has changed that I feel so much better and so much more capable. I think it is a number of things.

Having had 4 weeks in the summer where I wasn't responsible for anything helped. Mastering 5 tremendously stressful weeks without messing things up royally gave me a boost. Feeling better about myself and having had a chance to relax in body and spirit helped me to further work on my positive thinking. I praise myself more. I look at the accomplishments. I acknowledge failure without tearing myself up over it. I have decided that I can be happy and that I want to be happy. I look at the things I am thankful for and lets face it. I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. How did that saying go?

"Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful!"

It's wonderful indeed!

26!

I just admired my post with the boxes stacked high and it finally dawned on me why I had 22 empty boxes left even though I had 4 full ones to keep at the end. 4 x 5+2 indeed equals 24 but what if 3+3 was 6 and not five? The stacks are 6 boxes high. Not 5! I went through 26 boxes! I feel even better about myself now and can accept the fact, that it took 2 weeks to really deal with them.

2 WEEKS LATER

2 weeks after the great sort out I am still not ready to get new boxes from the attic. It took me long enough to get the 4 back up and the empty boxes sorted out. James has filled one up and brought CDs down to check them, get them sorted and maybe sell them.

The girls' room looks like a landfill and in the hopes of helping them clean up their room I made them just fill up empty boxes with their stuff. They filled 8 boxes,  4 laundry boxes full of stuff on top and the place still looks like a dump.

An "abominable pile" grew out of nowhere in front of my bed. It is made up of 4 laundry baskets. Yes, doing laundry is getting complicated, as I never seem to have an empty baskets. I feel like just dragging it all up into the attic so I don't have to look at it again.

I decided instead of hiding  it all upstairs and getting a new box I will just pretend it is attic hoard (technically it is the second I take it up) and decided to spare myself the trip. Instead of bringing down a box a day, I will tackle a box (basket a day down here until I am done. As I have 16 of them that should take me more than 2 weeks. It is frustrating to think that of 22 boxes 12 are full again/still and if I dumped the baskets into boxes I would fill up another 8. If I think that I only got rid of 2 boxes  over the last 2 weeks I shall go mad. But this has always been the problem with the attic. Things went up faster than they were cleared.

Tomorrow is a new day. I will have new energy and will take care of one basket. One basket is all a day requires! I can do this!

THE GREAT MOTIVATOR

If there is one thing that motivates me to clean up besides wanting it clean it is people coming over. Greatest motivator of all is a babysitter. Why? Because a babysitter basically has to enter every single room of your house. so you can't just shut a few doors and pretend everything is peachy. Among babysitters, the "new" babysitter is most motivating, cause they haven't ever seen your house. Blah. I've been working on this house like crazy for 10 days now and I am getting places, but didn't get done. We have 5 boxes left in the girls room, 3 of them I moved to my room and 2 baskets of clothes form the little kids' room. All stacked up in front of my bed again to form yet another abominable pile.

I am dreaming of getting stuff down from the attic, but it is either shove this stuff up to deal with new stuff, or be patient and get things under control before I bring down more. We all know the smart way to do this, especially with Thanksgiving sneaking up on me and Christmas around the corner. I wish I had a date for the attic business. That would make planning easier.

Well. The house is babysitter ready. The room to my door is shut and I will just hope she is not the nosy type..

TAKING THE HIGH ROAD

Taking the high road might be the right thing to do, but it sure ain't easy. I have thoughts of revenge popping up in my head. I keep telling myself that if she is behaving the way she is consciously I must take it as a compliment. How awesome must I be if she doesn't want me there? How afraid must she be of my wit, personality and presence if the only way she can compete is by not having me there?

I keep telling me it's over. For more than 2 years I have asked my self what is wrong with me that people don't want me around. Obviously nothing. The question is, what is wrong with her that she has to pretend to be my friend when she is not? This has sucked out so much energy of me. Not just this last week, but the last 2 years. It is time to heal and move on.

I have decided that I will have her help me with some mending. She is a good seamstress and this way she can do something for me and I can voice sincere appreciation. High road. Here I come. 

STUPID BOXES

I am still working on the boxes from the girls' room. Why is it taking me so long? Well, because I started with the baskets, 3 of the 4 were emptied and returned to the laundry process. I have dealt with boxes, not sure how many, but once they were empty I made the girls refill them with the rest of the stuff that was lying around. So even though I still have 8 boxes full of "miscellaneous" at least the floor is clean now.

To give you an idea what I am dealing with here is a list (not complete) of things I dealt with from today's box:

• dirty laundry
• puzzle pieces
• clean laundry
• old school stuff
• art work
• hair brushes
• bags 
• toys
• more toys
• pencils
• even more toys
• books
• toys that belong into the Luke's room
• a water bottle
• stuffed animals

I am afraid I also cheated. We sorted through 2 boxes and I just dumped the remains of the second into the first after I had enough. I also started looking through the last basket and never got finished. But hey, who cares. I am persistent and I am starting to see progress. That it is all that counts at the moment.