DAY 10 - PICKING OUT THE RAISINS

Worst task of the day was the abominable pile next to my bed. Baskets and boxes full of simply anything. Toys, books, clothes, letters, stickers, think of anything and it is probably in there. It is very slow going. Especially because I can't handle it for very long. I go started on it yesterday, but ran away too many times.

 But today I put quite the dent into it. I just kept going. I started by picking out the easy stuff. First all the toys and things like hair clips or other stuff I knew where to put. I picked out what felt like a million little pieces of scrap paper and other things for recycling and trash. 

I had eye doctor appointments with the kids, then we picked up James for lunch at the Golden Arches, but a lunch date with a bunch of kids just isn't a lunch date. After that we went for hair cuts, the book store and the playground (without a single spot of shade). When we finally got home 4,5 hours later I was out of energy. I felt really bad about it, so right before bed time I picked myself off the floor, got the girls to play along and we finished their room. 

YES! Another one off the list. I feel a little better

surface of the day: a box out of the abominable pile

7 a day: bits and pieces out of the box filling up half a wastepaper basket

DAY 9 - I BETTER GET GOING

I wish I knew where my list of rooms is. I could of course just write down those 12 rooms again, but it is more fun with the original. I am still all over the place working here and there and am terrified of the boys' room and the playroom. Those are the worst. I think I am making good progress. I have a stack of DVDs James needs to look at, if he doesn't want them they are out. I would like to claim I am done with the living room, but I guess as long as the stuff that is not going in the drawers is still out, I am not. I've been desperately trying to come up with ways to cut corners, but I won't allow myself to. I shifted some things to the garage and attic, but only stuff that needs to go there or has it's future home there. On the way down from the attic I always brought something with me that I could deal with thanks to improved order. 

surface of the day: all the shelves and drawers in the living room

7 a day: a stack of DVDs

DAY 8 - MAINTENANCE

We had guests over yesterday. Had a great day and made a big mess. I also created a new abominable pile by stacking a bunch of boxes and baskets of miscellaneous by my bedside. 

I figured the best way to get a grip back on things was to go with the 10 min program. So  step one would be to find my timer. I decided not to waste time on that. Instead I went to the kitchen set the oven timer and started filling up the dishwasher. Then I set the timer to 20 min, collected the dirty laundry, started the washer and continued in the kitchen. Setting the timer to 30 then was kind of a mistake. Even though I kept cleaning I initially lost my focus. 

After 2 hours of pure maintenance work it got kind of old. I wondered if this life has anything else to offer but and endless repetition of household chores. 

After almost 2,5 hours the kitchen is destroyed again, the bathroom is still clean but wasn't bad in the first place. Of course, I got 3 loads of laundry done, but nobody will ever notice that. I made tiny progress in the kitchen and the hall. 5 more working days to finish my project. I better get kicking!

surface of the day: kitchen cabinet

7 a day: 2 hats, 3 wastebaskets full of recycling, to be honest, I have no clue if I got rid of anything worth mentioning, I worked hard. That's it. 

CAKE THERAPY

Cooking and baking seems to have a calming effect on me. At least when things work out. I think it is the process of creating something and the finishing of a task with pleasant results that creates the soothing effect for me. 

So Friday a week ago, when I was feeling low and overwhelmed by my mess I decided that making an even bigger mess wouldn't make that much of a difference. I wanted to wash out the fridge. Only took me 7 attempts I think until I finally finished it. Came across a few ingredients and decided to "get rid of them".

So cake time it was. To make sure the therapy was in creating and not in eating cake, I made cheesecake which James loves and I couldn't care less about. I even put cherries in for my chéri. 

Very pleased with myself I must admit!

What I liked best, was that James came upstairs (I had retired early because the emotions of the day had worn me out quite a bit) and he asked me if he was allowed to have a piece of it before he went to bed. Why, of course! It was his in the first place! I love the fact that he can't resist my creations!

Because cake therapy went so well, I decided to try cookie therapy on Saturday. But that is an entire different story!

DAY 6 - SIDETRACKED

Today I got side tracked running errands. I helped friends pick up some furniture (their car is too small), got some organizing equipment as I was at IKEA already (wanted to get the stuff for a week but never made it). Before I left for that, I more or less spent the morning reading. I caught a nasty cold and I wasn't in the mood to fight it today. Having to go to 2 more stores that were completely crowded, just like IKEA was, I was pretty wasted by the time I was back. James had a project he wanted to finish so I was in charge of the kids.  
You  probably saw this one coming. I haven't done a thing today. Except maybe mess up the kitchen. Ah well, I am rather relaxed about my project at the moment. I realized that I will not have failed if I don't finish. Every little bit I do takes me closer to being organized and ready to tackle the attic. 

Come to think of it. I did organize one shelf and threw out a few things. Little things, count, too. 

surface of the day: top of a book shelf

7 a day: 4 broken planters, a light fixture, more acrylic paint

DAY 5 - CHURNING

Today I set myself a task that inevitable leads to churning. Going through the dreadful boxes that came up from the laundry room. And I guess while I am at it go through the ones by my bed, too. Why does this lead to churning? Because usually those boxes are full of stuff I am not sure how to deal with. Stuff I just can't throw away, or don't know where to put it. So far I have gone from 6 boxes to 3. I see that as a partial success.

I found a piece of paper for health insurance to get some money back that I wouldn't even have attempted to look for as I was sure it was lost or good. I got rid of a pile of broken things, papers and wrappers. (I am not sure how they end up in boxes in the first place instead of going straight to the trash.)

I hate this part of decluttering. The contents of the boxes are usually of the following origin:

• emergency clean up: everything was stuffed into a basket and the basket hidden from sight
• normal clean up with some left overs that I didn't know where to put so they ended up in a box "to be dealt with later"
• stuff I have sorted through before on which I couldn't decide.

The first category is the easiest. The second is hard and the third is very frustrating. There is usually a reason I didn't want to deal with the stuff in the first place. Progress was slow but progress none the less. I think I will turn to some real cupboards and drawers tomorrow for a change of scenery. 

surface of the day: the dreaded boxes

7 a day: Random pieces of junk, more random piece of junk and even more random pieces of junk!

DAY 4 - ANOTHER FLAW

Who will take care of maintenance if I am busy decluttering 4 hours every day? Obviously another serious flaw in my plan.  By now I have decided to skip the basement stairs. This way I have 12 rooms to take care off. One for each working day.

Today I checked off the laundry room. I  have mixed emotions about checking it off as I simply transferred 4 boxes full of stuff to another "room". But as I have calculated 2 hours of clean up for a landing that when it is as planned has nothing but a carpet in it I figured it is okay. I need to check things off or I will get depressed. I am a day behind already anyway. And that includes starting with the simple rooms!

I wrote the first 2 paragraphs around lunch time. Checking off that laundry room had the desired 
effect. I felt good about myself. Here is why: 

It just looks so good and I wish I had taken a "before" picture. The 3 big white wardrobes on the left were crammed full with random stuff. There was a fold up tread mill and a pile of boxes from the door to where the carpet is now. The floors where grimy, there was lint every where. Now I vacuumed the floor, I mopped it twice, I got down on my hands and knees to scrub of the rust stains I found where the tread mill was. I even defrosted the freezer. 

Awesome. I know.

surface of the day: 3 drawers in the hall

7 a day: broken case for sun glasses, package of copying paper, 4 books, 1 puzzle, 

.  

DAY 3 - ACTION!

I started day 3 dropping of 8 bags of various sizes full of clothes and shoes. I also found a big flaw in my plan. I forgot a crucial thing. Rachel recommends to make time for action. Well. Guess what. I didn't. I am not even sure how to live through 4 hours of cleaning and sorting every day, let alone drop off stuff. Leaving the house, especially with kids in tow is very draining for me. The little one is sick, my husband needed a ride to the office, I wasn't in bed until 1 am because I decided to do a quick run to the ER because the little one dove off the couch and had the nastiest bruise I have ever seen on a little head. Well. He obviously is alright, but things like that don't help. And then TAKING ACTION on top of it? Big flaw in the plan. I am tempted to give up. But I will not. Why not? I'm a survivor! HA! Take that hoard! I WILL NOT give up! 

On a brighter note, I did cross a second room off my list. The downstairs bathroom. Unfortunately it was another check if everything is still as it should be room. I guess I should be excited to have those, but it still feels like cheating.


7 a day: obviously the 8 bags count

surface of the day: floor under the couch. Don't ask.

DAY 2 - 1 ROOM DOWN

The end of day 2 finds my busy and exhausted. The repairman called early this morning to ask if he could come in the morning instead of the afternoon. First I was worried, that this would mess up my whole day. After thinking about it for a moment I realized it could be to my advantage.I had planned to be running errands in the morning and to clean up in the afternoon. I know myself well enough that I would have been too tired, and probably had skipped cleaning up all together.

So I cleaned up in the morning. I was kind of frantic as I had hoped to have the laundry room clean by the time the guy showed up. I more or less managed to do just that. I evacuated the hoard, a total of 4 boxes and baskets. After that I cleaned the kitchen and the hall.

I finally managed to check off my first room. Quite the achievement, isn't it. Ah well. On the other hand, maybe not. It is only the little room behind the front door. It has one little white chest in it. It contains sweaters, gloves and scarfs. Everything was still in perfect order. 

Funny thing is that when I took the picture I realized there was still a pencil under the chest! So I got it out. I am not sure if I can consider myself on track as I have been all over the place so far, but crossing even this tiny room off is a start. 

I think the reason for my not being able to focus is that I am simply scared of having a real life. That I am not sure what I would do with myself if I really got a grip on things after all these years. I guess I could always go back to hoarding if a real life doesn't suit me! 

Surface of the day:top of the freezer and the dryer

7 a day: box of kid's clothes

DAY 1 - LET'S DO THIS!

One would think that I jump into day one with vigor and enthusiasm. Well, not really. I think I am a little scared of the task I put in front of myself. Not terrified, but a little, hm, shocked by my own courage. I've decided to make it a regular Monday. Start with the normal stuff, get rid of the weekend, get the 5+ loads of laundry going. And find a place to start. I think I will start in the little hall behind the front door. It should be  a matter of minutes and then I will be able to cross of  the first room, with out having had much to do. 

10 minutes after I wrote this I found myself cleaning out the girls' bedroom. What is wrong with me? Is there something wrong with my? Is my subconscious sabotaging me, or does it simply have a better plan? I think I will trust my gut on this one and just simply clean "by instinct".

Well. My instinct then brought me to the kitchen. I think I really need to be a little more organized with this. If I invest 4 hours a day into cleaning and organizing, they better be well spent!



surface of the day: girls wardrobe top

7 a day: kid's art

HE IS RISEN!

Happy Easter to all of you! May Christ's victory over death lighten your heart and lift your spirits!

MINUS 1 - I'LL DO IT

I was all over the place again. But with new vigor. Cake therapy helped. I'll give you details another day. Going all over the place seems to be the logical thing to do. And here is why. The last 3 days as I was all over the place I cleaned out a whole wardrobe and reorganized it. I ended up with 4 shelves with the assigned things on it and another one that is COMPLETELY empty. Here is proof:

What a shame! hahaha Poor empty shelf. Now here is why my "all over the place approach" seemed to work really well today. Because having this shelf gives me a chance to rearrange and optimize my kitchen. I have decided that all the baking "hardware" can go into the basement. I use the various pans no more than once a month I would say. I think going to the basement once a month for an item is perfectly acceptable were as going to the storage room 3 times a day for rice, noodles and other things, isn't. By clearing out the shelf in the basement, I can now move the stuff from the kitchen down stairs, which will give me room to organize a miniature pantry.

Okay. I'll try to explain that again. By throwing out things, I make room to store things I will actually be using. Having them in one spot will help me be more organized and clear up the spaces they have been clogging so far. The spaces that are cleared up during the process can be optimized, too. By the end of it I am hoping to have reorganized every single shelf and drawer in this house. 

I am afraid that didn't make any more sense then the previous paragraph. 

I can see the light again. I think I will actually start my 14 day challenge on Monday!

All I have to do before I start is find someone who needs some left over dye to color Easter Eggs. AH! Being a hoarder makes the simplest things like dumping 6 cups of colored liquid down the drain a horrendous task! 

surface of the day: kitchen counter (yes, it was bad)

7 a day: 8 bottles of acrylic paint, a brush set for acrylic paint, a painters palette

MINUS 2 - HEADLESS CHICKEN

Today came and went even less organized than yesterday. It was quite depressing to say the least. It has been a while since I felt like the headless chicken I used to always be. I thought I am over that stage. But I guess I am not. 

Instead of continuing in any of the 4 rooms I started in, I added the kitchen to the mix and rummaged around in the attic although I had made the decision to stay clear of it. By the end of the day I am frustrated and edgy. I feel useless and unorganized. I look around and sure enough I have created an even bigger mess. Created chaos in places that appeared to be organized and got to the point were I think that maybe reorganizing the house in 14 days is too crazy an idea to even attempt. Even if I cheat and do give myself 3 extra days. 

To help myself calm down I concentrated on making pizza for the kids' movie night and made a cake for James.

surface of the day: more shelves

7 a day: 12 cups, 12 saucers

14 DAY CHALLENGE

Here it is. I had this absolutely crazy idea. I was thinking about whether to tackle the attic or the rest of the house after Easter and finally decided I should go for the house. The attic is just too scary a challenge. I love to plan and I am usually a thorough planer but this time all I did was write down the names of the rooms I wanted to take care of and an estimate of how much time I will need in them. Total number is 13. And I want to do it in 14 days. Crazy. I know but I just feel so ready for this and I think I can actually do it. If been thinking about it for a few days and I really want to do it. I want to start next Monday, but figured getting a feel for what's really out there for me won't hurt. 

So I got started today. I started in no less than 4 different room. And got a little upset with me for doing it. In the end it is okay because every project I started actually did get finished but I don't have a room I can check of but 4 rooms that I got started on. Tomorrow I will get a grip on things and focus on one room. I have 2 that are really easy. I will tackle those, so I can cross 2 off the list before the challenge even starts officially!  

surface of the day: a drawer in my hall

7 a day: 2 candles (very hard for me), various pieces of clothing

ARE YOU MOVING?

No. I am not moving. Hush it or I will have to punch you! Seriously. I did not need that comment. It is such a burden when you don't dare open the front door. I usually have that area clean, but as my clothes drop off didn't work and we needed the car for something else, everything went behind the front door temporarily. I just want peace and quiet. And a smile to greet me when I open the door. Not stupid comments.

 

But as it was, everything was stacked on the stairs and it looked like a mess and I didn't only have to open the door for 1, but 2 taxi moms last Tuesday. At least there were no packages by mail. Ugh.

I guess I should see the upside. It simply means that I am getting A LOT out of the house. It still stings.


surface of the day: my nightstand (top and 3 drawers)

7 a day: sun visor, pot, baking pan, 12 saucers, 12 cups

3000 CALORIES

I am having a 3000 kcal day. And it is barely lunch time. James has been up half of the night with a serious stomach bug. Now he is in bed, asleep. The morning appointment went well (besides missing my exit, hooray for a 15 min buffer in case things go wrong). Unfortunately it has brought with it another appointment for tomorrow morning that is interfering with the one I already have. I'll work it out.

I think my lesson in life is to learn to not be affected by things I have no control over. It is hard. I compensate by eating. I know. Stupid. But guess what. I tried EFT. I figured if it gets my anxiety level down about anything considering hoarding it should work in other areas of life, too. I tapped my head for about 20 seconds and felt better. I think I shall put 3 big letters on my fridge. EFT- a friendly reminder to try different approaches. Maybe then I can finally declutter all those extra pounds, too.

7 a day: various items of baby clothing

surface of the day: piano ( I know, I have to do that way to often!)

STRAWBERRY PATCH

The strawberry patch is officially "decluttered" I should have taken  before and after pictures. It was quite overgrown. I didn't think I could make it but I forced myself to finish as tomorrow is Taxi Tuesday (with an additional morning run) and I will be out Wednesday morning as well. I have somebody come to check on the dryer Wednesday afternoon, so I really should be clearing the basement.

Today was my only day to tend to the strawberries. The best part about this is, that just a year ago I would have given up. Today I finished. It feels good to have one more thing off my mental to-do-list. 

I had a 10 am appointment this morning, breaking my no Monday appointment rule AGAIN! I did get 60 min of work in before I left so I dare say that today was rather successful. Now all I need to do is get rid of 5 things and clean the surface of the day and then I will be ready to post this.#

Editors note: I worked so hard last night again that I simply forgot to post this!

surface of the day: top of the fridge

5 a day: 8 dessert "bowls", plastic containers (all of it to charity)

RELAX!

It isn't that easy to really relax when everywhere around you you see work and more work. I am pretty good at turning a blind eye to it, but today it doesn't work. Maybe because I have been mulling over a great new scheme that includes decluttering. Of course the smartest way to deal with it would be to retreat to a room that is serene and orderly. Oh wait. No such room in the house! I am ready to change.I really am. And to b honest, I feel like I have changed quite a bit already. I am learning to lot go of things, even when they go into the trash instead of caring hands. Small steps take you to your destination, too!

I will now go and sit on the patio. Not that the backyard and patio are any cleaner or more organized than the house, but the sun is shining and I will enjoy it while it lasts!

10 ON - 10 OFF

I still don't feel like my normal self, but I do feel a lot better. Not good enough to embrace a 10 magic minute day, but well enough to be a headless chicken doing 10 min at a time. Those are the 10 min on. The 10 min off are spent doing other stuff. Like blogging, crushing candy (guilty!) or reading a book. The timer is on for breaks, too, or the first break would probably last until it's time for dinner. 

The bad news is that so far I didn't manage to go 10 on 10 off. The good news is that I kept wanting to finish just one more thing that I ended up working for 30 min after starting the first 10 min block. I know. You are impressed. So am I. That's the magic of 10 min. They don't wear you out and you are willing to just finish up or do one more thing. 

I got 2 hours and 20 minutes done. I think I am happy with myself.

surface of the day: shelf of sweaters

7 a day: 1 sock,1 can of frozen concentrated fruit juice, 7 items of clothing

DRAGGING MY FEET

Today I am simply tired. I haven't slept well the past few nights and it's taking it's toll. I have no energy for the 10 magic minute. I am too much of a headless chicken. I have started a million things, but haven't finished anything on the first attempt. Nor on the second I am afraid. Being in pain again, does't help it. I think I will just take the right side of my face off to be pain free at last. I will now drag myself to the kitchen so I can finish the last 2 shelves of the fridge. It shouldn't be more than 5 min of work but I simply CAN'T do it today.  I am fit, slim and full of energy and will go and finish cleaning the fridge now.

DONE! YEAH! 

And one shelf is completely empty! I am fit slim and full of energy and will put away the laundry!

surface of the day: fridge, I only had to take 5 breaks

7 a day: 7 pieces of swim wear

7 A DAY

I am officially upgrading to 7 a day. It took quite a bit longer than I thought. The first time I felt ready for it, it was simply too hard. The last few days I have always been well past 5 items so I think I can do it. Maybe because I went through those terrible baskets. But I think it is due to my being willing and more able to just let go. It is sill hard of course. But I am getting better. More ruthless. Less trying to save every little thing.

Today I even feel like I could get this house taken care of. In one smooth effort. I have never felt like this and I will take advantage of it while it lasts.

7 of the day: 1 book, waffle iron, shower shelf, sweater, glass jars, a pillow, bag of stuff friends forgot at my house

surface of the day: dresser top

QUITE THE CONSOLATION!

No, this is not my bay window. Nor is it my neighbor's. Whoever was digging for something in this storage room obviously pulled back a curtain to see better. And forgot to pull it back. This window is right above the main entrance of a school in our area. Ah. I feel so much better. I see a computer. I see boxes piled on top of each other, and shelves full of stuff. Maybe I should be worried about the kids' education. But I simply can't help feeling better that there are people out there who just cram things into a storage room without having everything labeled neatly.  At work of all places. And it has been like this for at least 3 weeks. As sore a sight as this might be it is rather soothing to me! I am not alone!

surface of the day: dresser top in the hall (basically empty, who says tasks can't be easy?)

5 a day: 2 big trashbag full of kid's clothes, donated

SUNDAY

Sunday is my day off. We all need and deserve a day off. After a week of not even getting minimum done because I was falling from one event to the next it can be hard to take it off anyway. But I am. Why? Because the house will still be a mess tomorrow. Even if I do things today. I just sat down to play my piano a little bit. As I am lousy it was not as relaxing as I hoped it would be. Another reason I might have played so poorly is that I wasn't focusing on playing the piano. My mind was drifting off to the things I need to get done next week. The appointments I have. The weight I want to lose.

I will now give myself a second chance. I will recap the things I DID GET DONE this week.

• got an appointment to have the dryer fixed
• got Jack & Jill their "new" dressers
• caught up with laundry
• made it to every single appointment on time
• did my 5 a day persistently
• did my surface of the day persistently
• had homemade pizza for the kid's movie night

Ah. I feel better already. Now I will sit down at the piano and simply enjoy playing!

SANTA CLAUS

Jack & Jill were among our guests over the weekend. I took advantage of that and dragged Jill up to the attic. Less embarrassing after telling her that I am a hoarder. I know it is usually the women who have the last say when it comes to furniture, so I figured no need to bother Jack if she doesn't like the dresser I had up there for her. (I know exactly where they need to go in her apartment!) 

She never hesitated for a second. She wanted them. And she was really excited. Just like last time she mentioned this is like Christmas. And I get to be Santa. HoHoHo! I love it. Jack got to haul the stuff down from the attic with James. At the moment the 2 dressers are parked in the living room as we need to take the back row of seats out of the car to fit them in. But just knowing that they will go out soon makes me happy!

Upside down and 2 drawers out. Those things are HEAVY!

Surface of the day: dresser top

5 a day: old medicine, bit's and piece of (broken) toys

CHIMNEY SWEEP TRAUMA

I hate the yearly chimney sweep visit. Not only do you not get a specific time, but not even a date. only an announcement that they will show up "the beginning of April". On top of that, they need to go to the basement AND the attic, the 2 most sore spots in my house. After seeing pictures of my attic you would know why I don't want anyone up there.

I have made really good progress in my attic, and it still looks terrible. The basement has definitely seen more organized days. But hey. April was a few days away, so when the doorbell rang around 3 pm  in  the afternoon of the 27th of MARCH I simply wondered who that could be.

AH! The chimney sweep. And not only one. But 2 of them! He had brought an apprentice. "It's definitely not April," was my greeting for them. Rude. I know. Hahaha! I was too shocked to be polite. Well. They were all nice  and apologetic and said they'd been working so well, that things went faster than expected and would it be alright if they came in now. 

Who am I to send them away? I warned them repeatedly. Ah. I wish I had worked a little harder this morning. The kids' rooms were all officially a mess, I shut my bedroom door. The landing wasn't cleared but thanks to my hard work that morning there were only 2 baskets with stuff instead of 3.

Well. They managed to reach what they needed to reach. Embarrassed as I was I kept apologizing. Mr. Chimney Sweep has seen the house a few years in a row now. He probably knows that nothing would have been any different if he had shown up 4 days later. Ah well. I am still alive and now I have a whole year until they come again! 

Surface of the day: 1 basket full of miscellaneous sorted through
5 a day: 5 books

MY ATTIC

A week ago, on my roller coaster day, when I experienced my first high, I felt strong enough tho face my nemesis, the attic. BLEAH. I went up there. Looked around. Took a few pictures. And then I simply got started. I cleared the easiest corner. Brought the empty suitcases back up. Stacked the suitcases nicely and while I was at it took down 3, 2 of them broken, one just old, that need to leave the house. While I was at it I picked up a few things here and there that I shoved into the trash bag I have sitting up there, hungrily awaiting trash.I do have a separate box for recycling because being the hoarder I am I couldn't just throw it all together.

This is the big pile you run into first thing when you

 come up the ladder. Jack and Jill' wardrobe is

 hiding under the mattress.

This is what you see when you turn your head

counterclockwise. Unfortunately there is a lot of

room behind the shelf to hide more stuff.

This is behind the shelf. My more organized section.

Mostly clothes.

This is the dump everything you wish 

was organized section. Also the part 

of the roof where we had the leak 

1,5 years ago. Unfortunately nothing

got damaged. Biggest problem was 

damp walls. Still struggling with that.

This is the view from the I wish this was organized-section.

You see Jill's new dresser. And yes. There is a second one

just like it beneath it.

Here is the last corner. Notice the mattress on the left?

That is the mattress from the first picture I showed you.

This is the last corner. The one with the 

least stuff in it. That is why I decided

to start there.

This is taken standing by the suitcases.

All this stuff is hidden behind boxes and 

the mattress on top of the wardrobe.

It was more of an assessment today then organizing. It included the anxiety attack I already told you about. The emotions I went through where suppressed anger and feelings of helplessness. I was angry at myself for allowing myself to be stuck with this situation and to not just simply move one.

But I feel strong enough to tackle it this time. And to not run away and hide and shut the trapdoor. Getting rid of the wardrobe and seeing the empty spot it left gave me a great feeling of accomplishment. At the moment I feel a certain urge to keep going, to do more, while at the same time I am scared to climb back up. I am worried that the next trip won't be as successful. 

Editors note: This draft has been written some time ago. I finally feel brave enough to POST the pictures of the attic. Funniest part about it. Jill says it doesn't look like a hoarder's attic. Silly girl! If this doesn't, than what does? I better hit "publish" before my courage fails me again!

Surface of the day:dresser in the hall

5 a day: 7 glass jars

GIVING UP CONTROL

In preparation for our party James cleaned the patio. Let me just say this much: It was a mess and it was disgusting. When he was halfway done, I came to check on his progress, and he told me that he had been throwing things away without my knowing about it. 

Well. Guess what. I told him I was fine with that. I told him that as a he was a responsible adult, if he thought it was trash than it is trash. I admit I would have not thrown away the plastic dishcloth but would have washed it as they wash well. But guess what. I shrugged it off. And hoped I meant it. A year ago I might have gone to retrieve it from the bin to see if I could save it. This time I just thought:"I need to take better care of it next time."

James came across a few of his "favorite" creatures. This was the last one of 5 or 6 he chased off. A true hero!

This is Charlotte, posing

right above my left index

finger that looks strange,

cut off like that!

One part of changing my behavior is to give up being in control all the time. Trust the people in my life to get it right. Not worry about it if the little things in life go wrong. I think I did well with letting go this time. And things went well. This will make it easier next time! 

Surface of the day: top of the piano

5 a day: 2 fast food toys, 3 books