SICK OF BEING SICK

I am sick of it. Since Christmas someone has been sick it seems. Usually the little one. Runny nose, temperature, nasty temper. The week before Easter I was in bed myself for 5 days. Feeling miserable, not even able to deal with basics. My clean up plans went down the drain and now I am still feeling week, my head is still kind of stuff, the baby is SICK and I am sick of it. James is gone until Friday. I am sick of the endless battle against chaos and I am sick of feeling that this place is never clean. I have decided to try cleaning therapy today. I will clean until I puke or feel better. At the moment I think  puking will put and end to it, but you never know. If I feel like I am getting somewhere I might just end up feeling better.

I HUGGED 6 PEOPLE

A few weeks ago I hugged 6 people in a period of 24 hours. Yes. That is noteworthy. I am not a hugger. Not at all. I despise people pretending to show affection by giving me fake hugs. Fake hugs seem to be all you get theses days. I have enough issues with people wanting to hug me for real, but fake is THE WORST!

So I  more then surprised myself this weekend when I not only allowed 3 people to hug me but initiated a hug with the other 3. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I decide to take it as sign of feeling better. Of being able to reach out again and to allow people back into my private space.

THEIR LAST SWIM

Today I bragged about throwing away an unlit candle on my hoarder forum. I joked that the world was coming to an end, that I felt brave and asked what I should throw out next. A wise soul on there asked me:

"What else do you have knocking about that has never been used but sits there making you feel guilty?"

That really got me thinking. I  must admit that almost EVERYTHING that is a part of my hoard makes me feel guilty. That made me nervous. I would have to find something. FAST. James brought more boxes down from the attic. I looked into the first box and I found these beauties:

What are they? Well. Sea horses. Can't you tell? Plastic ones. The kind you stick into your bathtub so you won't slip. I purchased them more than a decade ago as a safety measure for the kids. They didn't work for us. The kids liked sticking them to the side of the tub, but they didn't prevent a single slip. They have survived every single purge I did over the last 12 years. Not this one!

NEXT WEEK

I wrote the headline last week, and never got around to writing the post. I finally remembered what I wanted to write.

I wanted to tell you all (if you are out there) that I was going to get my 2 hours a day in this week. Guess what. I haven't. I cheated like mad and I am still 30 min short. 25 to be exact. I still have 1.5 hours before my time is up, but I really need to sleep. I am tired. 

I could see it as therapy. Letting go. Cutting myself some slack, Being happy with what I DID achieve. I tried that once. Didn't work. I might just have to cheat some more...