10.000

10.000 views of this page. I wonder how many of them actually wanted to be here and didn't just end up here by clicking "next blog". Does it matter? No. It doesn't. Blogging helps me clear my head. It helps me sort my worries.

SO. 10.000 hits and I am still a hoarder. Things have improved quite a bit, and yet I still have quite a way to go. Root for me.

AGITATED

The incident with my reports left me agitated for the rest of the day. I was not able to focus on my task. I told James I would clean up the downstairs. It didn't help that James was home an hour early then I expected, but lets face it. It was about feeling insecure and agitated. I made dinner and used the last laurel leafs that came in a plastic container that all of a sudden look like it would be perfect for pencils in my little drawer downstairs. I told myself that is was okay to keep it as I would be tossing the lid but as I looked at the lid I thought:"What if I kept this. The kids could not mess up my pencils when they go through my drawer." Guess what. The kids hardly ever open this drawer. No need to keep the lid. By this time I realized that I was too stressed to throw ANYTHING out at the moment and that the reports were to blame. So I threw the plastic container on the counter top hoping James would get rid of it.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

The abominable pile next to my back is back and it is bigger than ever. One reason being that things have been brought down from the attic, things were picked out of boxes and the boxes eventually ended up next to my bed. Today for the umpteenth time I decided to work on it. I came across a stack of records from way back when I got my education. I had to do lots of internships that were accompanied with lots of reports about those internships. I briefly considered scaning them before I tossed them but decided that would be too much work. I took a quick glance at each of them and decided they can go. One I looked into the second to last one I stumbled across an innocent cheeky line in which I jokingly mentioned that I just might end up in this field of work that I never considered before thanks to this internship. Not only did I end up going that direction, I even returned to work with the same people that guided me through my internship.

All of a sudden I couldn't throw it away anymore. And not only that report but all of them. I picked them out of the waste basket and started  bawling. Seriously. What on earth is wrong with me? 

HAUNTED BY SINGLE SOCKS

Last  night I dreamt that I met up with a child hood friend. I haven't seen him in years. He brought with him some kind of scrap book, with memories written down and the occasional picture. In between the pages where singles socks. sometimes up to 10 per page. Don't ask me how that worked with the extra bulk, but it worked out just fine in my dream. And wouldn't you know it. The single socks between the pages looked exactly like the single socks from my basket. I remember thinking:"No wonder I can't match these up ever if he had them all the time." The dram continued with him reminding me that we split up pairs of socks as a symbol of our friendship and our being connected. Looks like that didn't work out to well.

The real question now is. Where on earth are all those companions for my single socks and does it make sense to continue like this?

SINGLE SOCK FIASCO

I think I posted about my issue with single socks before. I know socks are only useful in pairs. Unfortunately as long as I can't be 100% sure the sock is really truly single I can't throw it out. With all the unearthing of random items in the attic I came across a lot of single socks. I made the mistake of throwing all single socks into one laundry basket. I got rather frustrated trying to to sort them. So far I have sorted them into 5 categories. Dark, red-pink, white, grey, light blue. The dark section was about 2 thirds of the basket. Today I decided to sort them into sub categories. As I was doing that I thought:"Nobody should be wasting that much time on sorting socks." As you can tell, I do have lucid moments. Unfortunately just a few minutes later I had 6 pairs of socks that I matched up just by splitting it up into subcategories. Not even looking. My lucid moment ended rather fast.