Don't worry. I will stick with hoarding. The author of a book I read on decluttering claimed that if you let go of your physical clutter, you will be able to let go of your emotional clutter and you will also be able to lose those extra pounds you've been battling with for years.
An interesting aspect. So is being overweight just one more symptom of my hoarding? Or am I overweight because I am worried my hoard will suffocate me if I am thin and fragile?
Shouldn't it also work the other way round? If I let go of my extra pounds or my emotional clutter I should be able to part with all those unnecessary items?
Well. If decluttering helps me lose weight I am even more motivated to finally learn to let go!
2014-01-31
2014-01-30
FREEZER MEALS
I finally confessed to Nicole about the blog. And her being mentioned. Her reaction:"Wow. I sound a lot more awesome than I am in real life." Well. She is just that awesome. She simply doesn't know.
She read the posts on meal plans and confessed to me that she hates left overs. She even left a comment on improvements of her system but google + liked it so much it simply gobbled it up. So here we go.
As I just mentioned, Nicole hates leftovers. Especially on the second day. Might have to do with growing up in a household with little money, but that is pure speculation. She doesn't want to throw the leftovers away, either. Freezing it is a solution that is not pure genius, we all have done this, but her way of freezing the stuff is. She makes meal size portions and freezes them in individual containers.
No more providing after school snacks. The kids just grab a (home made) freezer meal and warm it up. As the leftover a portioned you don't end up with left over leftovers and of course one portion warms up a lot faster than a meal for 3.
Nicole says that a few days later, she doesn't mind the leftovers and might even have one of those meals for herself.
Now here is my 5 c on the topic. Why not have "freezer meal day" once a month. You know, those days when you've been running around all day running errands or taxiing kids back and forth, or when you haven't slept because half of the kids have been vomiting all night and the other half was whiney all day. So on that day everybody gets to pick what they want out of the freezer for dinner and all you do is pop it in the microwave one by one. Should also help with keeping your freezer from overflowing!
She read the posts on meal plans and confessed to me that she hates left overs. She even left a comment on improvements of her system but google + liked it so much it simply gobbled it up. So here we go.
As I just mentioned, Nicole hates leftovers. Especially on the second day. Might have to do with growing up in a household with little money, but that is pure speculation. She doesn't want to throw the leftovers away, either. Freezing it is a solution that is not pure genius, we all have done this, but her way of freezing the stuff is. She makes meal size portions and freezes them in individual containers.
No more providing after school snacks. The kids just grab a (home made) freezer meal and warm it up. As the leftover a portioned you don't end up with left over leftovers and of course one portion warms up a lot faster than a meal for 3.
Nicole says that a few days later, she doesn't mind the leftovers and might even have one of those meals for herself.
Now here is my 5 c on the topic. Why not have "freezer meal day" once a month. You know, those days when you've been running around all day running errands or taxiing kids back and forth, or when you haven't slept because half of the kids have been vomiting all night and the other half was whiney all day. So on that day everybody gets to pick what they want out of the freezer for dinner and all you do is pop it in the microwave one by one. Should also help with keeping your freezer from overflowing!
2014-01-27
MANIC MONDAY
Mondays have a certain magic, but a lot of times they are more manic than magic. Especially if (against better knowledge) you have an appointment Monday morning and it takes twice as long as you expected.
As much as I do every Monday, it never feels like I did anything. I am way to busy trying to get the weekend cleared up. Usually I have piles of dirty laundry to be processed, a dirty kitchen, and toys strewn all over the house.
To make me feel successful today I decided to get up at 6 am and go for a walk. (Alarm failed me, organic alarm went off at 6:11. Good kid!) Walking in the morning was scratched by 6:20, 40 min of household chores taken care of before 8. Kids shooed out of the house peacefully. Appointment went way to long. Ate about 3 million cookiesto make it to the afternoon. All I want to do now is sleep. I have a sinus infection, no clue what to make for dinner, a whiney child with a runny nose and 40 min of household chores ahead of me still. I am afraid today won't be magic...
As much as I do every Monday, it never feels like I did anything. I am way to busy trying to get the weekend cleared up. Usually I have piles of dirty laundry to be processed, a dirty kitchen, and toys strewn all over the house.
To make me feel successful today I decided to get up at 6 am and go for a walk. (Alarm failed me, organic alarm went off at 6:11. Good kid!) Walking in the morning was scratched by 6:20, 40 min of household chores taken care of before 8. Kids shooed out of the house peacefully. Appointment went way to long. Ate about 3 million cookiesto make it to the afternoon. All I want to do now is sleep. I have a sinus infection, no clue what to make for dinner, a whiney child with a runny nose and 40 min of household chores ahead of me still. I am afraid today won't be magic...
2014-01-26
REGROUP
Every now and then you need to "regroup". You look at the last few weeks. Evaluate progress and pat yourself on the back for it. You look at the things that didn't work out and ensure yourself it is okay. Try to find out why it didn't work and change things for the next atempt. For example if you realize your to do list didn't get taken care of because you had 100 hours worth of errands on it and only 10 hours to accomplish it you improvement willb e to have a more realistic to do list. If your meal plan didn't work out because you didn'T have all the ingredients your improvement will be to check for ingredients at the start of the week and add everything you still need to the shopping list.
Nobody gets it right 100 % of the time. One part of progressing is making mistakes and failing.
I went ice skating with 2 of my kids yesterday. It was my daughter's second time and it was HARD for her. But she refused to be defeated. When she fell, I helped her back up. Evenutally she was able to get up all by herself. 2 hours later she made it around the rink twice. All by herself. Yup, she still fell a few times. But that didn't stop her. And, oh girl! Was she excited about her accomplishment.
So keep in mind. Just because it didn't work out this time, doesn't mean it won't work out next time. My improvement for next week is to follow the 10 MAGIC MINUTE program to the proverbial "T" because randomly working in the house for 2 hours just dosn't get the same results. And I willl put my timer on my night stand when I am not using it, as I am higly depent on the little thing!
Nobody gets it right 100 % of the time. One part of progressing is making mistakes and failing.
I went ice skating with 2 of my kids yesterday. It was my daughter's second time and it was HARD for her. But she refused to be defeated. When she fell, I helped her back up. Evenutally she was able to get up all by herself. 2 hours later she made it around the rink twice. All by herself. Yup, she still fell a few times. But that didn't stop her. And, oh girl! Was she excited about her accomplishment.
So keep in mind. Just because it didn't work out this time, doesn't mean it won't work out next time. My improvement for next week is to follow the 10 MAGIC MINUTE program to the proverbial "T" because randomly working in the house for 2 hours just dosn't get the same results. And I willl put my timer on my night stand when I am not using it, as I am higly depent on the little thing!
2014-01-25
THE RAINBOW CLOUD
On the way home one day, I saw one of the prettiest things up in the sky. It was a big cloud. It was bright an colorful. I am not sure how to describe it, but the cloud was like a fluffy piece of rainbow. I showed it to the kids but they were rather unimpressed by it. Sometimes it looked as if it was fading, then the colors came back stronger again. Once home, I pulled James out of the house to show him. "So what," he said. "But isn't it pretty?" I couldn't understand why I was the only one who simply fell in love with that cloud. I ran to get a camera. James shrugged his shoulders and was about to go back inside. I took my sunglasses of. AH! Too late. Rainbow cloud gone! Then it hit me. I put the glasses back on. I passed them on to James. Suddenly he understood. It was pretty. Very pretty. The rainbow cloud was only visible with the filter of the sunglasses. Once you took the glasses of it looked liked any other old cloud.
I guess it is the same with the hoard. Some filter makes us see rainbows where others see clouds.
I guess it is the same with the hoard. Some filter makes us see rainbows where others see clouds.
2014-01-24
SLEEP WELL
Are you getting enough sleep? No? Now that's a problem. Lack of sleep makes me tired (oh really!?!), grumpy (big surprise), sluggish (you had a feeling this one was coming, didn't you?) and worst of all, unable to focus. Lack of sleep turns me into a headless chicken. Sometimes into 2 or 3 headless chicken that keep stumbling over each others feet, interfer with each others tasks and boycott each others projects.
As much as I have to admit it, my house was under a lot more control when I got up at 6 am and went for a 45 min walk returning before anyone in the house woke up. To do this happily I had to be in bed by 10 pm because as much I would like to be able to thrive on less I need 8 hours of sleep. Getting up and retiring around the same time, helps, too.
Why is it so hard to do things that are good for you? They say it takes 3 weeks to form a good habbit. Seems it only takes 3 days to undo it. As it is January and unfortunatly Sydney, Australia didn't work out, walking in the cold, dark, foggy mornings isn't very appealing. So for now I will work on getting to bed on time and up early. I think I might add walking to the routine in mid April!
As much as I have to admit it, my house was under a lot more control when I got up at 6 am and went for a 45 min walk returning before anyone in the house woke up. To do this happily I had to be in bed by 10 pm because as much I would like to be able to thrive on less I need 8 hours of sleep. Getting up and retiring around the same time, helps, too.
Why is it so hard to do things that are good for you? They say it takes 3 weeks to form a good habbit. Seems it only takes 3 days to undo it. As it is January and unfortunatly Sydney, Australia didn't work out, walking in the cold, dark, foggy mornings isn't very appealing. So for now I will work on getting to bed on time and up early. I think I might add walking to the routine in mid April!
2014-01-23
HOARDING RUINED MY CHEESECAKE
Not funny. Not the least bit. I know what you are thinking. You are visiualizing the situation. You see a cluttered kitchen. No, not cluttered. You see a kitchen that is barely recognizable as a kitchen because it is filled with boxes and bags full of all kind of random things. Forgive me for bursting your bubble. MY kitchen is clean and organized. The floor is mopped. There was plenty of room to work in it and I even cleaned the kitchen as the cake was in the oven. So how on earth DID hoarding ruin my cheese cake you are wondering.
No, I did not get buried under a pile of stuff that tipped over. I simply acted like a true hoarder. I tried to out do myself and wanted to put a layer of fruit between the cheese cake part and the sour cream top layer. That was kind of tricky. I was worried the fruit layer would make the sour cream slide off if it wouldn't harden all the way. So I decided to NOT put fruit all the way to the edge of the cake but keep a saftey ring of about 1 inch between the fruit layer and the pan. I did just that, and had about 3 spoonfuls of fruit left over when I had enough on the cake. (What a shame. I know. I better not let it go to waste. Ah, right, I want to make fruit sauce to pour on the cake. I'll just mix it in with that.)
Unfortunately I had put the cake on the cooling rack crockedly, so the fruit started running. I noticed too late and by the time I had it level it had run all the way to the side of the pan. I was slightly annoyed. So what, I said. I'll just pour the rest of the fruit sauce on. At least this way it won't go to waste. (Typical hoarder way of thinking.)
This is what happenend:
No, I did not get buried under a pile of stuff that tipped over. I simply acted like a true hoarder. I tried to out do myself and wanted to put a layer of fruit between the cheese cake part and the sour cream top layer. That was kind of tricky. I was worried the fruit layer would make the sour cream slide off if it wouldn't harden all the way. So I decided to NOT put fruit all the way to the edge of the cake but keep a saftey ring of about 1 inch between the fruit layer and the pan. I did just that, and had about 3 spoonfuls of fruit left over when I had enough on the cake. (What a shame. I know. I better not let it go to waste. Ah, right, I want to make fruit sauce to pour on the cake. I'll just mix it in with that.)
Unfortunately I had put the cake on the cooling rack crockedly, so the fruit started running. I noticed too late and by the time I had it level it had run all the way to the side of the pan. I was slightly annoyed. So what, I said. I'll just pour the rest of the fruit sauce on. At least this way it won't go to waste. (Typical hoarder way of thinking.)
This is what happenend:
2014-01-22
MAKE TIME TO TAKE ACTION
Thank you Rachel. So true, so true. Yet, so hard. SO HARD! At least for me. But it's true, all the sorting in the world will get me no where if I don't take the time to drop stuff off at the new owner, be it a scond hand store, a friend, or the dump.
My plans for the perfectly organized kitchen will bare no fruit if I don't take the time to rearrange the cabinets.
Selling all my stuff on ebay will not get me any money if I don't take action and actually ship the stuff. Okay. I might get some money, but then the people who didn't get their stuff will hunt me down and want it back!
On of my most dreadful spots in the hosue is so dreadful because I don't make enough time to take action. A lot of my seasonal stuff is stored in the attic, but because I have a little ladder to pull down and climb through a hatch to get up there, it isn't necessarily my favorite past time to haul boxes up there. So I put them under the hatch. And wait until it is "worth it" to "make the trip". And before I know it, the boxes are stacked 3 feet wide and 4 feet high and then I don't want to do it anymore because it is simply too much. Oh my, I sound like my children.
So I am working on making time to take action. But I need to seriously change some behaviour patterns. And it ain't easy!
My plans for the perfectly organized kitchen will bare no fruit if I don't take the time to rearrange the cabinets.
Selling all my stuff on ebay will not get me any money if I don't take action and actually ship the stuff. Okay. I might get some money, but then the people who didn't get their stuff will hunt me down and want it back!
On of my most dreadful spots in the hosue is so dreadful because I don't make enough time to take action. A lot of my seasonal stuff is stored in the attic, but because I have a little ladder to pull down and climb through a hatch to get up there, it isn't necessarily my favorite past time to haul boxes up there. So I put them under the hatch. And wait until it is "worth it" to "make the trip". And before I know it, the boxes are stacked 3 feet wide and 4 feet high and then I don't want to do it anymore because it is simply too much. Oh my, I sound like my children.
So I am working on making time to take action. But I need to seriously change some behaviour patterns. And it ain't easy!
2014-01-21
RACHEL
Meet Rachel, everyone! I don't know her personally, but I have interacted with her online. We visit the same forum. She is awesome. And she is quite different from me. I am a hoarder. She is an organizer. A PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER! I came across her website and her free masterclass on decluttering. I took her test to see how cluttered my home was, and was happy to score lower than I thought I would.
I downloaded the free masterclass, but waited for a long time to acutally listen. It felt like if I listen to this I have to actually declutter. I was to overwhelmed and wasn't sure if I was ready for the commitment.
When I finally did listen in, her enthusiasm washed over me. Wow. The lady has ENERGY! Within a minute I knew that even though she never met me, and even though she wasn't aware of my listening to her masterclass she really wanted me to succeed. And not just because this is how she makes a living, but because she wants me to be hapy and succesful. Wow. I haven't listenend to the whole class yet, but I could tell we had a similar approach. She said so many things that I learmed over the past 20 years. How great it would have been to be served this knowledge on a silver plate! If you like food on silver platers...go download her masterclass!
Rachel gave my self esteem a great boost. I figured if a professional organizer has the same approach that I came up with, I can't be all wrong!
So thank you Rachel for the service you provide! If you want to learn more, check out her page!
In my next post I will share one thing I learned from her. She said:
I downloaded the free masterclass, but waited for a long time to acutally listen. It felt like if I listen to this I have to actually declutter. I was to overwhelmed and wasn't sure if I was ready for the commitment.
When I finally did listen in, her enthusiasm washed over me. Wow. The lady has ENERGY! Within a minute I knew that even though she never met me, and even though she wasn't aware of my listening to her masterclass she really wanted me to succeed. And not just because this is how she makes a living, but because she wants me to be hapy and succesful. Wow. I haven't listenend to the whole class yet, but I could tell we had a similar approach. She said so many things that I learmed over the past 20 years. How great it would have been to be served this knowledge on a silver plate! If you like food on silver platers...go download her masterclass!
Rachel gave my self esteem a great boost. I figured if a professional organizer has the same approach that I came up with, I can't be all wrong!
So thank you Rachel for the service you provide! If you want to learn more, check out her page!
In my next post I will share one thing I learned from her. She said:
"Make time to take action!"
2014-01-20
MAGIC MONDAY
I am not sure what it is about Mondays that makes me feel certain by Sunday night, that "tomorrow I can do it." Maybe it's the fact that I ignored all household tasks for the day. Maybe it is the fact that a new week is starting. Come Sunday night a new hope is rising in my heart, that no matter how bad last week went, the next week can be better. "Hope is the last to die." It is true for me. My hope might be in the ICU by Monday night, but it doesn't go without a fight.
Nicole my dear friend taught me to never schedule appointments for Monday. Very wise. Mondays are for regaining control over your house. Dental appointments can wait until Tuesday! Oh wait. On Tuesdays the kids all attend their sports clubs, so Wednesdays. Oh. Wednesdays most doctors offices are closed in the afternoon in our neck of the woods. So Thursday. Fine with me!
Nicole my dear friend taught me to never schedule appointments for Monday. Very wise. Mondays are for regaining control over your house. Dental appointments can wait until Tuesday! Oh wait. On Tuesdays the kids all attend their sports clubs, so Wednesdays. Oh. Wednesdays most doctors offices are closed in the afternoon in our neck of the woods. So Thursday. Fine with me!
2014-01-19
EXOTIC
My friend Alex, who knows about my "little problem" and who's real name I know, has no problem with my problem. Because she too, has hoarding tendencies. I rarely was at her house. It wasn't hoarded in my opinion, but most likely that was due to her moving every couple of years because of her job. The first time something struck me as odd was when one time, as I was over at her house I saw 3 bags of kids clothes sitting on her coffee table. Right were I had dropped them off about 4 weeks earlier. She defintiely had not gone through them. The bags were untouched. Why would anyone leave those sitting in the middle of the room like that? The only person I knew who acted that strangely was myself! So I told myself if I acted that way it couldn't be all that strange.
When I realized I was a hoarder I talked to her about it. I knew she wouldn't judge me. The only comment she had was that she could relate because she had a hoarding mom and hoarding tendecies herself.
The other day she called me. She had a question. About a ceramic dish. A neighbour had given it to her when she lived in my neck of the woods. She explained to me that she was in the process of decluttering. She liked the dish. It was exotic. She knew it was a dish to prepare food in, but wasn't sure how to use it. I couldn't help her. But I thought I could be helpful in some other way. I pointed out that here was a dish she had dragged with her for years. She moved it at least 3 times. She had never used it. Nor did she know how to use it. I pointed out to her that she was investing time and energy to find a reason to be allowed to keep an item that only has one thing speaking for it. An exotic flair. She did admit I had a point. I suggested she'd put it in the "out" pile. I wonder if she did. I'll have to ask her.
When I realized I was a hoarder I talked to her about it. I knew she wouldn't judge me. The only comment she had was that she could relate because she had a hoarding mom and hoarding tendecies herself.
The other day she called me. She had a question. About a ceramic dish. A neighbour had given it to her when she lived in my neck of the woods. She explained to me that she was in the process of decluttering. She liked the dish. It was exotic. She knew it was a dish to prepare food in, but wasn't sure how to use it. I couldn't help her. But I thought I could be helpful in some other way. I pointed out that here was a dish she had dragged with her for years. She moved it at least 3 times. She had never used it. Nor did she know how to use it. I pointed out to her that she was investing time and energy to find a reason to be allowed to keep an item that only has one thing speaking for it. An exotic flair. She did admit I had a point. I suggested she'd put it in the "out" pile. I wonder if she did. I'll have to ask her.
2014-01-18
THE PERFECT PACE
So what's the perfect pace for dehoarding? Good question. I think it is different for everybody. I found a steady trot (achieving a little bit every day) works better for me than sprinting and pausing (having a mammut day and then rest for a week).
For once I don't have a certain date set when I want to be done dehoarding. I have set so many dates, and they came and went, that just thinking about a deadline makes me feel stupid and incapable. As I have stuff from my childhood days floating through this house you could savely say it took me 25 years to accumulate all of this. Working by myself, how, as a hoarder, could I get rid of it in a week? Or 10? I don't want to take 25 years to get it all back out. If you have the manpower (and the will to actually part with it all without looking at it), by all means clear the house in 3 days.
For me the right pace is when by night things are better than in the morning. Even if I am the only one who can tell, and when I have the strenght too continue the next day.
Over the years I have found out what keeps me from making progress and what helps me. You know yourself best. Stick with what works. If it doesn't work for you, try something else.
For me, the 10 magic minutes are truely magic. Somebody else might need a room by room approach. I need a little bit every day. Others might prefer to do it all in 1 or 2 days. What ever it may be. The perfect pace is what's right for you not what others tell you!
For once I don't have a certain date set when I want to be done dehoarding. I have set so many dates, and they came and went, that just thinking about a deadline makes me feel stupid and incapable. As I have stuff from my childhood days floating through this house you could savely say it took me 25 years to accumulate all of this. Working by myself, how, as a hoarder, could I get rid of it in a week? Or 10? I don't want to take 25 years to get it all back out. If you have the manpower (and the will to actually part with it all without looking at it), by all means clear the house in 3 days.
For me the right pace is when by night things are better than in the morning. Even if I am the only one who can tell, and when I have the strenght too continue the next day.
Over the years I have found out what keeps me from making progress and what helps me. You know yourself best. Stick with what works. If it doesn't work for you, try something else.
For me, the 10 magic minutes are truely magic. Somebody else might need a room by room approach. I need a little bit every day. Others might prefer to do it all in 1 or 2 days. What ever it may be. The perfect pace is what's right for you not what others tell you!
2014-01-17
START WITH THE END
When I dehoard a corner these days I worry less about what is there, but more about what I want there. My philosophy is, whether it is stuck in that corner or stuffed into a box, a bag or a drawer doesn't matter. But getting that drawer or shelf organized to optimize my daily rountines makes a huge difference in my life.
I empty the place I want organized, clean it and then create OCD worthy efficency. When I feel truely heroic I deal with the stuff I took out. Why don't I deal with it at the start? Because I know my self well enough. I will tear things apart. Churn until I am dizzy. Feel incapable. Frustrated. Stupid. Around that time I will grab the things that I took out. Stuff them back where they were and lament about my frustrating situation. I will have wasted half an hour or even half a day and will have achieved nothing.
Dealing with the original content AFTER I am done creating perfection is a lot better for me. Because even if I don't deal with it and just hide it somewhere I have something to show for the time invested. I have a well organized shelf/drawer that is functional. I do pretty well with keeping my organized corners clean. I also do well going through them regularly, getting rid of things that snuck in there.
So I start where people who don't hoard end. Because if I try to start with getting rid of things I'll never get anywhere. Dealing with it while still high on having another corner of my house organized I have far more courage to face those things I still am not ready to part with. And I am far more willing to part with them!
I empty the place I want organized, clean it and then create OCD worthy efficency. When I feel truely heroic I deal with the stuff I took out. Why don't I deal with it at the start? Because I know my self well enough. I will tear things apart. Churn until I am dizzy. Feel incapable. Frustrated. Stupid. Around that time I will grab the things that I took out. Stuff them back where they were and lament about my frustrating situation. I will have wasted half an hour or even half a day and will have achieved nothing.
Dealing with the original content AFTER I am done creating perfection is a lot better for me. Because even if I don't deal with it and just hide it somewhere I have something to show for the time invested. I have a well organized shelf/drawer that is functional. I do pretty well with keeping my organized corners clean. I also do well going through them regularly, getting rid of things that snuck in there.
So I start where people who don't hoard end. Because if I try to start with getting rid of things I'll never get anywhere. Dealing with it while still high on having another corner of my house organized I have far more courage to face those things I still am not ready to part with. And I am far more willing to part with them!
2014-01-16
CONTROL THE HOUSE
-OR THE HOUSE WILL CONTROL YOU. Wise words spoken by my friend Nicole. Lets face it. What is more efficient. Cleaning up for 30 min or looking for one item for 30 min? As much as I hate cleaning up, it beats frantically looking for something. How motivated are you to wash the dishes if it takes 20 minutes of moving things around before you can even turn on the faucet?
For me "controling the house" is more than cleaning up. It means being in control. Having conciously decided how to organize certain corners. Knowing what to keep and where to keep it. Making you more efficient by having things were you need them. What's the point of keeping the dishtowels in the corner furthest from the sink? Why would you have shoes you wear 3 times a year next to the door? You get the message. That is why I came up with a plan of organizing my house. It might feel a little backwards, but it works for me. It might just work for you to.
For me "controling the house" is more than cleaning up. It means being in control. Having conciously decided how to organize certain corners. Knowing what to keep and where to keep it. Making you more efficient by having things were you need them. What's the point of keeping the dishtowels in the corner furthest from the sink? Why would you have shoes you wear 3 times a year next to the door? You get the message. That is why I came up with a plan of organizing my house. It might feel a little backwards, but it works for me. It might just work for you to.
I start with the end!
2014-01-14
LONG DAY
I had a long day. A very long day. Pretty much nothing went as planned. (Sick kids surprise, surprise!) But in the end it all worked out and I feel good about life and all it has in store for me. I read a blogpost today ( http://breakingthesilence-cam.blogspot.de/2012/11/my-name-is-julie.html ) if you are interested. And it lifted my spirits. So I am a hoarder. Who cares? Being a hoarder won't break me. Because I won't let it. Just like Julie I want to become better, not bitter. Tonight as I go to bed I will not worry about the mess. I will close my eyes and be grateful for James, who is a wonderful supporting husband, I wil be grateful for my kids who make me smile and make me stretch and improve. I will see this messy house as the wonderful blessing it is, that gives my family shelter from the elements.
I love life. It's about perspective. I am blessed, truely blessed. Having hoarding to deal with in my life just makes it richer. More diverse. Keeps me humble and will open doors to help others!
I love life. It's about perspective. I am blessed, truely blessed. Having hoarding to deal with in my life just makes it richer. More diverse. Keeps me humble and will open doors to help others!
2014-01-13
GET STARTED
It doesn't matter what your situation is. Crying about it will get you no where. If you are a hoarder you will not have to go far. Most likely you can start right where you are. Start with admitting to yourself that you have a problem. Then tell yourself it is not the end of the world. Believe me. I know. Fortunately for you, there is lots of help out there. Including me. Hahaha
Hoards are as different as the people who accumulate them. Some can't let go of personal items, some hoard paperwork. Others have mountains of clothes. Aquiring the hoard comes in many differnt ways, too. Some are compulsive shoppers, some are deal hunters. Others can't pass up free stuff. Some hoards are clean, some are a bio hazard.
No matter what your situation is. You are not alone. And it doesn't have to stay that way.
After a week without my timer (I am ridiculously dependent on it) and some very emotional issues I am ready to face the world again. I found my timer. Life can go on.
You are not expected to change your world in a day, rather a day at a time. So go tell yourself you are worth it. Free yourself. Find your very personal first step. And take it!
Hoards are as different as the people who accumulate them. Some can't let go of personal items, some hoard paperwork. Others have mountains of clothes. Aquiring the hoard comes in many differnt ways, too. Some are compulsive shoppers, some are deal hunters. Others can't pass up free stuff. Some hoards are clean, some are a bio hazard.
No matter what your situation is. You are not alone. And it doesn't have to stay that way.
After a week without my timer (I am ridiculously dependent on it) and some very emotional issues I am ready to face the world again. I found my timer. Life can go on.
You are not expected to change your world in a day, rather a day at a time. So go tell yourself you are worth it. Free yourself. Find your very personal first step. And take it!
2014-01-12
STRONG EMOTIONS
I know I need to learn to be a little more balanced. It's hard. When I get all emotional, be it angry, sad or upset I stop functioning. Unfortunately, I have been on an emotinal roller coaster all week. I refuse to go into details as I have finally managed to calm down enought to hope to be back to normal by tomorrow. Finding my silly little timer would help, too.
2014-01-11
SURFACE OF THE DAY
I have learned that 20 small steps will take you further than 2 big ones. Sometimes it is hard to believe it.I have also noticed that big steps (figurativly speaking) tend to exhaust me a lot more than little steps. My 10 magic minutes is a little step program. Instead of exhausting yourself by having to finish an entire room at once and then not wanting to set foot in it for 2 weeks, you take many little 10 min steps and reach your goal this way. So I am constantly looking for little step approaches. Here is my newest one. I call it "surface of the day".
Monday -Friday I pick a surface I want cleaned. My surfaces collect clutter faster than dust. My idea was that if I declutter a surface every day my declutter activity would highly increase and it would feel less like decluttering. I am rather generous when applying the term "surface". It can be a dresser or cabinet top, a shelf of a bookshelf or cabinet, or even a drawer or windowsill.
So far I have done well. I tackled a windowsill, the top of my nightstand, the top of the washer and dryer, a sideboard like shelf in the living room and...and...oops. Looks like I am a day behind. I did get started on a drawer but that's another story.
I am happy to say that all the surfaces so far have been decluttered and cleaned and are clean still. I threw things away every time even if I thought it was just things that needed to be put back where they belong. Small steps to victory!
As today is Saturday I wouldn't need to clean a surface, but as I am a day behind I will. I think it is also smart to give oneselfs time to catch up. I moved some furniture from one wall to the wall across the room and since then the cupboards shelfs even though organized have the contents on the wrong side of the cupboards. All of a sudden my scarves, gloves and handbags are on the shelf furthest from the door. So today I will start switching the contents of the shelfs. As I need to clear 2 shelfs at one time to accomplish that, that is the perfect surface to catch up!
Monday -Friday I pick a surface I want cleaned. My surfaces collect clutter faster than dust. My idea was that if I declutter a surface every day my declutter activity would highly increase and it would feel less like decluttering. I am rather generous when applying the term "surface". It can be a dresser or cabinet top, a shelf of a bookshelf or cabinet, or even a drawer or windowsill.
So far I have done well. I tackled a windowsill, the top of my nightstand, the top of the washer and dryer, a sideboard like shelf in the living room and...and...oops. Looks like I am a day behind. I did get started on a drawer but that's another story.
I am happy to say that all the surfaces so far have been decluttered and cleaned and are clean still. I threw things away every time even if I thought it was just things that needed to be put back where they belong. Small steps to victory!
As today is Saturday I wouldn't need to clean a surface, but as I am a day behind I will. I think it is also smart to give oneselfs time to catch up. I moved some furniture from one wall to the wall across the room and since then the cupboards shelfs even though organized have the contents on the wrong side of the cupboards. All of a sudden my scarves, gloves and handbags are on the shelf furthest from the door. So today I will start switching the contents of the shelfs. As I need to clear 2 shelfs at one time to accomplish that, that is the perfect surface to catch up!
2014-01-10
SALT IN MY WOUNDS
The recycling boys must have been in a bad mood. They did take the box of cardboard, but left my books behind. Maybe it was a little too cheeky to have 4 boxes out. Maybe the truck was almost full already. I don't know why they took them last time and left them today. All I know is that I am stuck with them. Again. To make things worse their was some light rain last night so now the books are defintily trash. I dumped the first box into the now empty can. I don't dare throw to many in at once, as I am afraid it will get too heavy. . If I keep going at that rate it will take me until the summer to get rid off them all. But that's not it. On my way to pick up the kids I ran into the lady I got the books from. I am sure the big smile she flashes me every time our paths cross is sincere. She shares a first name with one of my childhood comic villains. I just can't help thinking she is laughing at the idiot she dumped her books on.
ROCK BOTTOM
You know the up side of hitting rock bottom? Once you are there, things can only improve. I talked to a friend of mine about it. One of those perfect house wives. Who will wring their hands in dispair about not having been able to clean up yet if you show up unexpectedly. Then they will let you in and beg you not to look around because the place is such a mess. But try as you might the only thing you can spot is a dirty cup left over from their coffee break, neatly tucked away in the sink as the diswasher is running. And even though you took off your shoes you see exactly were you walked as you are leaving a trail of crums that were stuck to your socks.
Well. I explained to her that once every dish is dirty, if you want to use one you will have to wash one first. So technically it can't get worse. Once all the clothes are dirty, they might get dirtier, but that won't make the piles in the laundry room any higher. So again. It can't get worse. Once all the toys are dumped out onto the floor, they can spread in different directions but the amount will not increase. She still didn't understand."But that can't be true," she kept saying. I finally said:"You obviously never hit rock bottom."
I feel like I once more hit it. Hard. That's why I'm smiling. Things can only get better.
Well. I explained to her that once every dish is dirty, if you want to use one you will have to wash one first. So technically it can't get worse. Once all the clothes are dirty, they might get dirtier, but that won't make the piles in the laundry room any higher. So again. It can't get worse. Once all the toys are dumped out onto the floor, they can spread in different directions but the amount will not increase. She still didn't understand."But that can't be true," she kept saying. I finally said:"You obviously never hit rock bottom."
I feel like I once more hit it. Hard. That's why I'm smiling. Things can only get better.
2014-01-08
REBOUND
Things were looking grim the last few days. The place in shambles and no motivation what so ever to get back out of it. Today I finally managed to get started. I restacked the still leftover books from 2 big boxes into 4 little boxes in the hopes of getting rid of them when they pick up recycling on Friday. My thinking is, if the box is too heavy, they will not take it. I am not sure if I dare to put them all out at once, as I have a whole banana box full of folded cardboard that needs to get out of the house, too. I think I will just see how much extra stuff the neighbours still have. The first time they picked up recycling after Christmas there was as much stuff next to the bins as was in the bins. So we will see. There is at least 1 more banan box full of books in the garage, but that one will defintiely have to wait.
I dropped of about 10 books at the semi public book shelf at the school that had room again, even though it wasn't much room.
Getting all the cardboard boxes the kids had been playing with out of the living room made a big difference. Stumbling over 2 things in the basement that I was able to discard off without thinking too much about it and 2 more things out of the kitchen that I was thinking of getting rid of the last few weeks did brighten my day. I feel like I can get more done, tomorrow!
I dropped of about 10 books at the semi public book shelf at the school that had room again, even though it wasn't much room.
Getting all the cardboard boxes the kids had been playing with out of the living room made a big difference. Stumbling over 2 things in the basement that I was able to discard off without thinking too much about it and 2 more things out of the kitchen that I was thinking of getting rid of the last few weeks did brighten my day. I feel like I can get more done, tomorrow!
MEAL PLANS
I must admit, I am not far enough to actually execute this. But 2 friends of mine have and it works for them. A friend of mine, Nicole told me she has a meal plan worked out. She has enough dishes in her repertoire so she can go about 4 weeks without having to eat anything twice. (Wow, the lady is awesome!) She usually plans for a week. Writes down what she wants to cook and than plans her shopping list accordingly. She only buys what she needs for these meals. She says she will not necessarily cook on Monday what she wrote down for Monday she might be in the mood for Thursday's meal, but that is okay because she has several dishes to chose from, and nows she has all ingredients at home.
This means she does NOT
This means she does NOT
- waste her time anymore doing quick trips to the store because she is out of something she needs for dinner.
- spend hours in agony trying to come up with some plan for dinner with the stuff that's in her fridge
- buy random things that disappear in the fridge and pass their expiration date without ever getting used
Sounds like a win-win-win! to me!
So Nicole told me about it, and I shared it with a few women during a workshop I held on saving money and getting a grip on your finances. A friend of mine who attended it said:"That sounds good. I'll give it a try." A few weeks later she told me just how awesome it went. She said on Sunday night every family member gets to make a meal request for the week. (As there are 6 in the household it works rather well.) Monday morning she does her shopping. (She loves only having to go once a week.) She said not only are shopping and cooking easier, but she said because she doesn't just randomly throw stuff into her cart that looks good at the moment and gets tossed later, she saves between 10-20 a week. Not too bad, don't you think? That's 500-1000 a year. I know. Now you want to try it, too. Go ahead. My advice is free! ;) All of a sudden I am even more excited about executing the meal plan I have for this week!
2014-01-07
HOARDING FOOD
I don't hoard food. But I can't throw anything away until it went bad. Even if it is just half a serving. Until it goes bad I have to keep it. Even if I know I don't want to eat it. I hope James will eat it. Of course he doesn't. Once it goes bad, it's out. But as long as it techically good still...different story. I have finally learned to not eat the left overs off the kids plates.
When we go out to eat, I have to eat it all. Today we went to a fast food place. Fortunately I didn't order anything. The kids and James left enough for a whole meal. I can't. I simply can't. I payed for it. The stuff was expensive. People starve every day. I simply can't throw it away.
I wonder if that has to do with my hoarding.
When we go out to eat, I have to eat it all. Today we went to a fast food place. Fortunately I didn't order anything. The kids and James left enough for a whole meal. I can't. I simply can't. I payed for it. The stuff was expensive. People starve every day. I simply can't throw it away.
I wonder if that has to do with my hoarding.
2014-01-05
DEAR READER
All my life I have been talking to myself. As a child, a teenager, and now as an adult. I find myself witty and amusing. I can at times be rather annoying I must admit, but most of the time I am entertaining myself quite well. I do have great arguments and it is fun to prove myself wrong. Just to show myself I am smarter than myself. But no matter how much fun it is to discuss things with myself I prefer getting feedback from real people. Blogging sometimes feels like talking to oneself. So if you are actually reading this blog...I would very much appreciate it if you left me some feedback. Be it a comment, or be it by checking one of the boxes beneath each post.
THANK YOU!
2014-01-04
RESISTANCE
As I wrote about "persistance" yesterday I thought it would be amusing to write about "resistance" today. Obviously a hoarders problem is that more stuff comes into the house than leaves the house on average. Many hoarders seem to be compulsive shoppers. Or deal shoppers. I can't resist free stuff. Which is even worse than shopping in my opinion because a lot of times free stuff is not in the best condition to begin with. Today I came across a small cardboard box. Somebody wrote "take for free"on the box. In it a few games. Obviously they had been around for a while but they were in great condition. "Oh, the kids might like those," I thought. I openend all the boxes checked the contents. Decided that one of those games one could easily play even without the game. You had to pick a category and turn the wheel for a certain letter. I was very proud of myself for deciding to leave that one behind. Suddenly, before my inner eye a picture started to form. Hangers in a plastic bag. On top of more hangers in a big box full of kids close. Even not counting Christmas presents, it's been a while since that much stuff had made it into my house in so little time. That was the moment when I put the games back into the box and walked away. I resisted the tempation of taking more stuff in. Way to go. Do give me a nice pat on the back!
2014-01-03
PERSISTENCE
Persistence is the key. I have seen that again and again. The last couple of days I made sure to clean up things the very moment I was done with them (very hard for me). I also was persistent with making sure the kitchen was done every night before I went to bed. I had the girls clean up their room every day. I did work on one of my trouble areas daily, too. And it's visible. Immediate success is awesome but usually not how things work. Persistently working on a goal will pay off in the long run!
2014-01-02
HAPPY 2014
I started things slowly this year. But I started. I threw out a few little items that I never had the heart to let go. It was easier then expected. I remind myself to focus on the progress instead of the things left to do. The house looks better tonight than it did last night. At the moment that is good enough for me.
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