MY LONG JOURNEY

Sometimes I feel nothing but despair when I look at the mountain that is yet to climb. I might have covered quite the distance in the last 19 months but I still have such a long way to go. This week I have felt little pangs of despair more than once. Not as bad as last week.  But bad enough to make me cry every now and then. Just look at today. Morning spent on the phone getting nothing done because morals are low, all afternoon running all over the place with appointments and the evening home alone as James is out to dinner with his co-workers. 

If you have followed last year's 14 day power declutter you know that I had a little deal with myself. For every box I took up to hide in the attic, I had to deal with one from up there. I decided to offer myself the same deal this time. I am very reluctant to take it. The stuff I take up stairs will have to be dealt with eventually. Why not do it now? Plus, taking stuff into the attic involves actually getting up there. I am not in the mood for the depressing sight the attic is, plus it is such a hassle and I take forever to actually do it. I'll go up once a week I promised myself. Yeah. Right. NOT! It took me almost 3 weeks to finally go up. The main reason to get it over with  was not the pile of stuff blocking the upstairs landing, making it almost impassable, but the fact that I had stuffed myself with chocolate and sugar coated peanuts and I know that a nice little work out is the best way to deal with high blood sugar levels. So either I eat a whole package of sugar once a week or it won't ever get done. I took some books down in the hopes of being able to sell them. I have books that I "sold", but unless I reach a certain total I can't ship them off. Needless to say, the site I am selling to is not interested in buying any of the books I brought down. The only 3 that they would buy are some that I haven't read and figured I would read them first. I'll never get anywhere this way. Can you see why I start crying "out of nowhere"? Once again I feel trapped. Oh. And I accepted free stuff again. Just one item, but one that I won't need for another year. ARGH! Well. I am going to force a smile on my face now and pack the books that I brought down with the other "unsellables" and will try to dump them on some friends on the weekend.