Today was the worst day so far for me this week. By far the worst. I am not sure what it is this week but I feel absolutely overwhelmed. Just dealing with everyday stuff seems like all that I can handle. Lets not mention kids who pee their bed at night, spills all over the place and school time tables that have changed AGAIN and of course to my disadvantage.
I think what really is getting to me is the suicide of a girl I knew. We weren't friends in the common sense. When we did get together we always had good and deep conversations and we did have a few things in common. We were almost the same age, both had a bunch of kids, close in age, the deep need to be perfect and struggle with depression. Obviously her struggle was a lot bigger than mine. I knew she had made an attempt to kill herself once, but that was 2 years ago, and everything seemed to have improved and it seemed she was doing so much better. She always had so much energy, she was excited about things, always willing to help. What a waste. What a waste of beautiful life. I sobbed through the whole hour of her memorial service. I have put her picture up on my mirror. As a reminder that things aren't always what they seem, that there is so much pain and heartache hidden under a beautiful surface. I had not seen her pain. I knew she had plenty of help, professional and from friends and family and still she saw no other way. That's what is getting to me. I am sure it will take a while to sort my feelings. Until then, I will just pour them out here. Quite therapeutic.
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen