CONFUSED

I am not sure how to describe how I feel at the moment. On the one hand I am exhausted. On the other hand I know I have the strength it takes to pull this off. And with "this" I mean everything. EVERYTHING! School, therapies, weight loss, the attic, renovating 3 rooms, adding 2 more and a bathroom. Not to forget piano and other music classes, ballett and I don't know what else. Oh. Work. Yes. I can deal with work, too.

I feel like nothing I do matter, but I see that as long as I stick with my "senseless" endeavors things change. Slowly ever so slowly, but they do. Sometimes only for a moment but I hope that eventually they will change for the better for ever. 

I am happy and sad, determined and hopeless. I am drained and full of energy. 

I think I need more sleep...