UPDATE

I just read my last post. First it made me cry. Now I want to laugh. I am not sure what I was worried about back then, but let me tell you. It only got worse. Alex is back at the hospital, he had to undergo minor surgery. Just going back and forth to see him takes forever. He is stressed about the whole thing, and is not in a good mood. So hanging out with a grumpy teen is my reward for going all over town when I have a million things to do. The fact that he has been on various antibiotics and nothing has really helped so far is not making things better for me. 3 weeks ago I spent 13 out of 24 hours at various doctors offices and clinics with 3 different children.  A broken toe (Hope), parotitis ( Matt, most likely due to blockage) the poor child looked like a lopsided hamster and a vicious looking infection (Alex) in the middle of a pretty face was more than I bargained for. And people expect you to keep life going for the rest of the family.

James is frustrated with work. The dynamics there are toxic. At the moment we feel bombarded from all sides. Health, work, social life (don't get me started), and the construction site upstairs eat up all our energy.

The other day I had to literally force myself to throw away an empty roll of toilet paper. It'S day by day. Task by task. I tell myself how awesome I am for keeping all the other appointments with the kids and making sure they have their homework done and their projects going. They eat cereal up to 3 times a day and I tell myself at least they are not hungry.

Last night I spent 2 hours micro organizing just because I knew it would calm me down. Next week's agenda makes me want to cry.

But guess what. I am still hot sauce and I am awesome and I can totally take care of it all!