I get hand me downs from people all the time. Last time the bag of clothes also contained a few balls of yarn. OF a quality that I don't really use. Colors I didn't even like. I took them to preschool and asked them if they wanted it. The teacher took about 2/3 of it and didn't want the rest.
The yarn was navy blue. Felt polyestery and yuck. And was "brand new", not even rolled into a ball. With a price tag still on it. 2 of them. From the discolored prize tag it was obvious that the thing had been around for a while. Can you believe that even after the preschool teacher didn't want it it took me 2 weeks to just put it in the trash? I was trying so hard to come up with things to do with it. Didn't come up with a single one. I was frustrated when I put it in the trash. Frustrated that there was no use for something so "new and useful". Frustrated every time I put something else in the trash. And a little proud of myself for actually doing it....
2019-07-27
2019-07-21
2019-07-07
2019-07-03
DID YOU MISS ME?
Probably not. Did I miss blogging? In some ways, yes. In others, no.
It has been almost 14 months since I last posted. To be honest, I thought it was longer. So much has happened since and so much has changed and so much is still the same.
The plan is still to get out of chaos and into calming surroundings. I have come a long way and I still have quite a way to go. To get back into the blog I clicked on a link in an email notifying me about a comment. I ended up rereading the post and it dawned on me, that the epiphany I told about in I LOVE HER ENERGY is very similar to my insight from this post. I guess some things you have to understand more than once before you really get them.
It has been almost 14 months since I last posted. To be honest, I thought it was longer. So much has happened since and so much has changed and so much is still the same.
The plan is still to get out of chaos and into calming surroundings. I have come a long way and I still have quite a way to go. To get back into the blog I clicked on a link in an email notifying me about a comment. I ended up rereading the post and it dawned on me, that the epiphany I told about in I LOVE HER ENERGY is very similar to my insight from this post. I guess some things you have to understand more than once before you really get them.
2018-05-19
TIRED
Once again I am always tired. Not sure if it is the depression creeping back, lack of sleep or just life demanding 1 million things from me. Maybe a little bit of everything.
I talked to the therapist about self sabotage. At first he didn't know what I was taking about and thought it is me expecting things to fall into place and my house being clean despite 6 kids. But no. That's not it.
Not checking for my keys at night when I have an 8 am appointment and then frantically searching for them still when I should have left already. That is one of my self sabotage moments. When I could have done something ahead of time, with plenty of time to get it done or going to bed without worrying if I really have everything because I KNOW I have everything.
He said it is totally understandable that I don't check for that key and stay on the couch, because I am overwhelmed already and it is just one more thing demanded of me. He says it is my way of protecting myself.
I think my subconscious and I should have a talk. Wouldn't it be more effective to go look for that key in advance to spare myself the stress and panic? wouldn't life run so much smoother if I did that one load of laundry and the kids had clean sock the next morning? Wouldn't it be better to finish the days chores and then sit down and actually relax without feeling guilty about it?
Knowing it might be a way to protect myself makes me feel better about, still I have that nagging feeling that it would be smarter and more efficient to make myself do those little things.
I talked to the therapist about self sabotage. At first he didn't know what I was taking about and thought it is me expecting things to fall into place and my house being clean despite 6 kids. But no. That's not it.
Not checking for my keys at night when I have an 8 am appointment and then frantically searching for them still when I should have left already. That is one of my self sabotage moments. When I could have done something ahead of time, with plenty of time to get it done or going to bed without worrying if I really have everything because I KNOW I have everything.
He said it is totally understandable that I don't check for that key and stay on the couch, because I am overwhelmed already and it is just one more thing demanded of me. He says it is my way of protecting myself.
I think my subconscious and I should have a talk. Wouldn't it be more effective to go look for that key in advance to spare myself the stress and panic? wouldn't life run so much smoother if I did that one load of laundry and the kids had clean sock the next morning? Wouldn't it be better to finish the days chores and then sit down and actually relax without feeling guilty about it?
Knowing it might be a way to protect myself makes me feel better about, still I have that nagging feeling that it would be smarter and more efficient to make myself do those little things.
Abonnieren
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