Yesterday was not a good day. From the very first minute I felt like all I did was try to keep up with life. I stayed brave and courageous and kept working. And things kept going wrong. I felt overwhelmed but didn't give up. Until I fell.
I walked into the bedroom. I am not even sure what happend. I carried a basket of laundry and tripped over a basket on the floor. I am not sure if I didn't see it, or tried to get past it and misjudged the distance. It doesn't matter. I sensed myself losing balance. I tried to catch myself and for a second I did. Then I realized I couldn't and surrendered. I fell like a big Douglas fir about to be turned into a Christmas tree.
I heard the basket crunch under my weight. I heard the other basket slam down on the side of my bed as I ever so slowly sank deeper. I slammed down on my whole right side between the bed and the wardrobe.
I allowed myself to stay on the floor and started sobbing from the shock. I just wanted to lie there and cry and never get up again. I sat up deciding crying is not going to fix it.
What really ended my day for me was that obviously 2 of the kids wondered about the noise. They came out of their rooms and obviously thought nothing of their mother sitting on the bedroom floor in a tiny gap between the bed and the wardrobe. Neither of them asked if something was wrong, what the crashing sound was or even if I had heard something, too. For a moment I wanted to get nasty and sarcastic thanking them for their concern, but I bit my lip.
I told a friend, who told me to lay down and stay in bed for the rest of the day without even bothering to ask if I hurt myself.
Sometimes I really do wonder if anyone cares.
2019-08-20
2019-08-14
LIGHTS OFF
For months the light in the downstairs hall was on at night. Maybe close to a year by now. Why? Because my upstairs landing is big and square and inviting. It is a clutter magnet. Baskets of clean folded laundry that don't get put away end up there. Toys. Cause the little one enjoys the open space. Anything ends up there. Stuff that needs sorting, stuff that needs to be put away. It is in baskets and boxes and I was always terrified that someone might trip and break their neck on a midnight trip to the facilities.
The downstairs light gave enough light to see on the upstairs landing without blinding anyone or disrupting their sleep. No matter how often I managed to clear the hall it was cluttered up again within hours. For the last 2 weeks I think the light has been off. Maybe even longer. Not, Not because I live north enough that the midnight sun shines bright and guides the way.
That landing is free of clutter. At least most of the time. Worst case it is on basket which can be moved close to the wall without blocking any paths to the bathroom. I work hard to keep it clear. It takes effort and some sacrifices, like messing up my own room more again.
This landing will stay clear. In some ways it is symbolic for me. I CAN and will work hard to get and KEEP this house safe for everyone.
The downstairs light gave enough light to see on the upstairs landing without blinding anyone or disrupting their sleep. No matter how often I managed to clear the hall it was cluttered up again within hours. For the last 2 weeks I think the light has been off. Maybe even longer. Not, Not because I live north enough that the midnight sun shines bright and guides the way.
That landing is free of clutter. At least most of the time. Worst case it is on basket which can be moved close to the wall without blocking any paths to the bathroom. I work hard to keep it clear. It takes effort and some sacrifices, like messing up my own room more again.
This landing will stay clear. In some ways it is symbolic for me. I CAN and will work hard to get and KEEP this house safe for everyone.
2019-08-12
SUCCESS STORIES
I hope you like success stories, because I am about to share one.
Matt finally agreed to get another piece of furniture. He is my minimalist and seems to not ever keep anything that is not necessary. In his new bedroom he has a desk with a small integrated shelf and a bed that has 3 drawers. That's it. He keeps his clothes and school stuff under his bed and everyday stuff on his shelf.
The reason I don't like this set up is that the drawers are huge and stuff just kind of falls around in it. In addition, it seems that dust and small particles love falling into them from the cracks between the mattress and the frame.
Being a micro organizer I prefer turning big spaces into smaller spaces. In my current attempt to purge I had him open his drawers for inspection and saw that his clothes drawers are rather full, almost too full. I asked him for the umpteenth time if he needed more storage and he finally agreed. No. That is not the whole story already, even if it felt like a huge success to me!
We went online and checked for dressers. I had something in mind. We discussed our options. Found something we liked in a store near by. I asked James to go pick it up after work if he agreed with our choice. Of course he did. Once James was home Matt and I got to work to put it together. Various siblings showed up to help. It took us far longer than I hoped, but it is up and looking nice.
What's the success story you ask? Simple, everyday life you say? Well. Simple for most people, not for me. I made a decision. I stuck with it I did not change my mind 27 times and actually pulled it off. I did not push it to tomorrow, which we all know never comes. I got it done and things are set up. All in one day. I am proud of myself!
Matt finally agreed to get another piece of furniture. He is my minimalist and seems to not ever keep anything that is not necessary. In his new bedroom he has a desk with a small integrated shelf and a bed that has 3 drawers. That's it. He keeps his clothes and school stuff under his bed and everyday stuff on his shelf.
The reason I don't like this set up is that the drawers are huge and stuff just kind of falls around in it. In addition, it seems that dust and small particles love falling into them from the cracks between the mattress and the frame.
Being a micro organizer I prefer turning big spaces into smaller spaces. In my current attempt to purge I had him open his drawers for inspection and saw that his clothes drawers are rather full, almost too full. I asked him for the umpteenth time if he needed more storage and he finally agreed. No. That is not the whole story already, even if it felt like a huge success to me!
We went online and checked for dressers. I had something in mind. We discussed our options. Found something we liked in a store near by. I asked James to go pick it up after work if he agreed with our choice. Of course he did. Once James was home Matt and I got to work to put it together. Various siblings showed up to help. It took us far longer than I hoped, but it is up and looking nice.
What's the success story you ask? Simple, everyday life you say? Well. Simple for most people, not for me. I made a decision. I stuck with it I did not change my mind 27 times and actually pulled it off. I did not push it to tomorrow, which we all know never comes. I got it done and things are set up. All in one day. I am proud of myself!
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