TIMBER!

Yesterday was not a good day. From the very first minute I felt like all I did was try to keep up with life. I stayed brave and courageous and kept working. And things kept going wrong. I felt overwhelmed but didn't give up. Until I fell.

I walked into the bedroom. I am not even sure what happend. I carried a basket of laundry and tripped over a basket on the floor. I am not sure if I didn't see it, or tried to get past it and misjudged the distance. It doesn't matter. I sensed myself losing balance. I tried to catch myself and for a second I did. Then I realized I couldn't and surrendered. I fell like a big Douglas fir about to be turned into a Christmas tree.

I heard the basket crunch under my weight. I heard the other basket slam down on the side of my bed as I ever so slowly sank deeper. I slammed down on my whole right side between the bed and the wardrobe.

I allowed myself to stay on the floor and started sobbing from the shock. I just wanted to lie there and cry and never get up again. I sat up deciding crying is not going to fix it.

What really ended my day for me was that obviously 2 of the kids wondered about the noise.  They came out of their rooms and obviously thought nothing of their mother sitting on the bedroom floor in a tiny gap between the bed and the wardrobe. Neither of them asked if something was wrong, what the crashing sound was or even if I had heard something, too. For a moment I wanted to get nasty and sarcastic thanking them for their concern, but I bit my lip.

I told a friend, who told me to lay down and stay in bed for the rest of the day without even bothering to ask if I hurt myself.

Sometimes I really do wonder if anyone cares.