SKINNY CLOTHES

Today I went up into the attic and packed up my "skinny clothes". I had mentally prepared for this all week long. I decided if I can find out why I am still hanging on to them I might be able to let go. I think I finally know why.

It always felt like letting go of my "skinny clothes" means that I admit defeat. That I tell the world and myself that my skinny days are over. That I will stay "fat" for the rest of my life. That I gave up hope. Realizing that helped. Obviously the size of  clothes I store in my attic has no direct influence on the size my body. If it did, I would be skinny by now. Right? I pulled them out one by one, mostly tops, I had gotten rid of the pants a while ago. Not that I had many pants. Most of them I had worn until they fell of my legs. I must admit, that I kept about 15% percent. At least I hope it wasn't more.

I did share a few tears. Not really because I parted with my clothes. It was more of a general feeling of overwhelm. Sitting in the full attic. Barely making a dent into the amount of things stacked up there. Being reminded of my weight problem and how useless it seems to fight it..

It's all good. Life is change. Let me tell you. If I am ever skinny enough to fit into those clothes again I deserve a whole new wardrobe full of clothes. And maybe, in a few weeks I can let the rest of it go