2016 - RESOLUTIONS

Over the last couple of months, I came across a few sheets of paper with NEW YEAR resolutions of the past few years, probably of the last decade. Turns out they were more or less the same.

• lose weight
• declutter
• get organized
• keep house clean
• improve piano skills
• learn new language

The amount I wanted to lose, or the language I wanted to work on has varied over the years, but all in all it has stayed the same. My conclusion? Obviously not much has changed. 

This year I have changed my approach. I obviously won't be losing the 66 lbs I want to lose, neither will I be selling tickets for my piano concerts. What I have done is look at WHY I fail to achieve those goals.

Lets take losing weight. This is what stops me:

• eating to much 
• eating at the wrong time
• eating the wrong thing
• not working out
• turning to food for comfort

This is what I am planning on doing to fix it:

• have fixed meal times
• have a meal plan
• start with a 5 min work out routine and increase it gradually
• find a different way of dealing with stress.

By not picking a certain number of pounds to lose this year I hope to take some of the stress of it away. I want to focus on a healthier me, not on the magic number.

THIS WEEK'S EFFORTS

I am proud to say that this week's efforts have paid off. The downstairs was clean on time and still is clean. (Although I can already see it deteriorating.) The upstairs was only halfway done, but I shut the door to the playroom and locked my bedroom. Silly, I know, but I did feel a strong need for privacy.

The girls's room ended up being the surface of the day and the 5 a day ended up being random pieces of "art", a ball with almost no air in it and a McD.'s toy. None of them was hard to part with.I felt a pang of guilt with the plastic princess, as it wasn't mine, but ever since we had it she's been lying around on the floor and she simply isn't of any use to play with as she is bolted to a piece of plastic. I guess you could display her on a shelf. But that's the end of her usefulness.

My drop zone had 6 or 7 baskets full of stuff and 2 piles of clothing that were supposed to create a brand new abominable pile next to my bed. The boys's room was a terrible mess. Instead of just doing what I am good at and hiding the baskets in my room I challenged my son Matt. Object of the game was to clean up 17 things. He in his room, I from the upstairs landing. We ended up playing 5 rounds. Amount of things to clean up varied from 17-47. We picked a new number each round to keep things interesting. He ended up beating me 4:1 (First round went to me) but the true victory was that I ended up with just 3 baskets in my room. One of them has mostly stuff to be ironed in it. Yes.

I still have 3 baskets there but I have gotten far in the last 6 months. I am starting to deal with my problem differently. I am happy with my progress. Very happy!

HOLY PUKE!

Can't they be done by now? I mean, I feel truely sorry for the poor kids, but I am starting to feel sorry for myself, too. 2 weeks of puking and diarrhea even if it is 3 different kids is just not fun.

But being the hero I am, I have not only survived so far, but have even put in 1.5-2 hours of household work each day and have cooked nutritious meals. This means I have achieved a lot more in a certain situation then I would have a few years ago. I might not be decluttering, but I am holding the fort. Just barely. But I am.

What I am trying to tell you is, that change is possible, improvements are possible and you simply need to be patient with yourself and let yourself get back up when you fall. Just make sure you don't fall into a poodle of puke.

DO I WANT TO CHANGE?

Seriously. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to change. Staying the way I am and in the situation I am in might not be ideal, but at least I wouldn't have to adapt to something new. This year I had no New Year's reolutions as they end up being the same every year anyway. So. One starts to wonder.

I think it would be easier for me to stay happy with a clean organized house. But who am I kidding. It's not about being happy then. It's about being happy now. Today's goal was to write down all the things I want to do and change and to prioritize. So far I haven't even gotten myself a pice of paper and a pen.

I think I am afraid of the hard work it will bring with it. I want to eat a whole chocolate cake AND be skinny. I want to have a clean house WITHOUT EVER having to touch a rag. I want to be ORGANIZED AND KEEP IT ALL.

I am afraid it won't work. If I want to stop being a hoarder I have to be willing to change. I think I'll go and get that piece of paper now.