DO I WANT TO CHANGE?

Seriously. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to change. Staying the way I am and in the situation I am in might not be ideal, but at least I wouldn't have to adapt to something new. This year I had no New Year's reolutions as they end up being the same every year anyway. So. One starts to wonder.

I think it would be easier for me to stay happy with a clean organized house. But who am I kidding. It's not about being happy then. It's about being happy now. Today's goal was to write down all the things I want to do and change and to prioritize. So far I haven't even gotten myself a pice of paper and a pen.

I think I am afraid of the hard work it will bring with it. I want to eat a whole chocolate cake AND be skinny. I want to have a clean house WITHOUT EVER having to touch a rag. I want to be ORGANIZED AND KEEP IT ALL.

I am afraid it won't work. If I want to stop being a hoarder I have to be willing to change. I think I'll go and get that piece of paper now.