THE FLU

As if life hadn't been crazy enough we got hit by the flu. Hard. All 6 kids had it one after the other. At one time all 6 of them were home sick together. It has been 2 weeks. They are on the mend, but 3 of them are still struggling. To keep things entertaining, one of them added an ear infection and needs antibiotics and 2 other kids have been throwing up.

No such thing as a room of the month or organized declutter. Simply day to day survival.

We are almost back to normal. Ella is still too weak to make it to school. She looks like a little ghost fluttering through the house in her nightgown. Her skin color can only be described as ashen.

So no Room Of The Month, no 10 magic minutes, just medicine, thermometers and endless hours of 
holding little ones, who felt too hot to touch.

New week, new luck. 

CALLING IN SICK

I should be calling in sick. I really should. I've had sick kids since last week Monday. One of them has been sick, or at least not fully recovery since then. One is back to normal and the 4 oldest are home from school with headaches and fevers. I've had a head ache for days and yesterday I finally surrendered.

Unfortunately I had worked ahead the night before and I figured I better get my 2 hours in. So I decided to finally work on the cabinet full of board games. I can't just put the stuff together. When I do that I have to count every piece and write down what'S  missing. Which lets face it is a ridiculous amount of time spent on nothing.

Now I am sitting on the couch, counting endless stacks of cards and game pieces and am thrilled to finally get this going. The complete games will be upstairs in the living room, the incomplete ones will stay downstairs. I know that there is a ridiculous amount of game pieces flying through the girls' room.

Unfortunately throwing out the games  as long as I think I can find the mission pieces is not how I roll. I guess I could practice doing that. But lets face it. I really don't want to. here is what I will do. The incomplete games will stay downstairs. By the end of the year, after I will have gone through the whole house (yes,y es, I will!) what ever is still not complete will go. 

WHAT NOW?

After officially being diagnosed the big question is:"What will I do about it?" Well, for one I will stop letting depression jerk me around. Everybody says I am strong. Let's see it. I have been on a few walks lately. I have also told myself when I felt like crying that this wasn't me. It didn't always stop me from crying, but it helped me get over it faster and it also helped me to keep going. 

It is what it is, but it doesn't have to stay this way. I wonder if taking care of oneself is as easy a task as the others make it sound.

I am tired. I am so tired I am cross eyed. the baby was fussy, Luke threw up all over the place, and yes when the poor little soul drenched in vomit had to throw up again the moment I got him to the bathroom I let him sit there and ran for cover. 3 am is not a good time to be puke on. No time ever is. James has been feeling under the weather all week. I did most of the taxi rides for the kids, I went shopping today, I cooked today and prepped the slow cooker meal for tomorrow, I could go on and on with what last week did to wear me out but I will stop boring you to death and go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day.

STILL SICK

I am still sick. Maybe I am sick again. Who knows, It doesn't matter. Fact is that I have not been functioning properly the last 2,5 months. The only reason we haven't gone under yet is that James was home half of the time, hired help, a handful of true friends who have cooked meals and have shuttled kids across town and a few fool proof routines like my laundry system.

I long to be back to normal. I am supposed to be resting but that stupid antibiotic is making me feel a lot better than I am and it is hard to resist the urge to get cracking. I can't believe that I lived to say I want to be able to do household chores. That just feels wrong.

CALL ME PHOENIX

September has burnt me to a crisp. It brought a new (very neddy) baby, 2 nasty infections, one with a revolting round of antibiotics, barely escaped being admitted to the hospital, back to school and sleep deprivation. Fortunately James was home basically the whole month or I would not have survived.

I missed sweet Marie's first day of school and it broke my heart. She didn't mind much it seemed. I still want to cry thinking about it. I worked so hard towards it to have every thing ready and picture perfect. It was. Only I was missing in the picture.

James has cooked, cleaned, attend all the start of school meetings with teachers that I usually go to, made sure the kids got good slots for piano lessons and even tough he was home for a month it seemed I rarely saw him. He was out runnikg kids to and from appointments and made sure to shield me from the daily challenges of normal life, He took me to the doctor, and was available 24/7 when I was sick.

The last 4 weeks have been rough. Harder on me physically and mentally than I expected. And I expected things to be bad. Now exactly one month after my last post I would be lying if I said I was back to normal. I am not even back to functional. But at least I feel like I can one day be normal again.

I will rise like Phoenix from the ashes. Watch me.

CHEATING

James was gone, I was sick. I keep telling people getting outside help is not cheating. So I did. My friend's daughter came and helped me fro 3 days. She fed the kids, helped clean up, vacuumed, scrubbed bathrooms, floors and the kitchen and took the little one to the play ground. If it hadn't been for her I might not have stayed sane. I paid her train fare and she got compensation for her time. She insited it was too much, but I do't think so. Plus I want her to come back. Don't I.

So if you are considering outside help. Just do it. You might have to swallow your pride, like I had to, but it is well worth it!

I'M FEELING BETTER

I know, you are absolutely thrilled. I was just so tired the last 2% weeks. I slept at least 9 hours every night and took 3 hour naps during the day just to survive. Today is my 4th day without a nap, but I did lie down during the day. Needless to say, no decluttering took place. Nothing happened. I am just glad the laundry is under control and the kids love cereal. Today was the first day I felt kind of back to normal at least. I was able to make an organized effort with household chores and the kitchen and downstairs bathroom are back under control. So is the master bedroom and Mt laundry shrunk to a rolling hill. Okay, so half of it was easy stuff, but trust me, it was hard enough picking easy chores. Looks like I will be first one asleep yet another night.

THE BRINK OF DEATH

Oh, so I like drama, deal with it. Dr. "This-herb-will-cure-you" gave me antibiotics without blinking. Tells me something. If you want to know just how poorly I felt, I was too sick to whine about it online. I know. You are SHOCKED. Now, day 7 I am feeling a little better. My muscles are sore from coughing. The upside is, I wasn't really able to eat anything for 4 days. Hehehe. We shall see what the scale has to say! James did well saving the world without me. He better be careful or I will stay in bed for another week because things run smoothly without me. Decluttering? Come on. Be SERIOUS! I told you I was on the brink of death. I will definitely still take things slowly next week. 

The tomatos are alive and well, the beans are tall and beautiful, for the first time I managed to grow peppers, and there is a baby pumpkin in my backyard. Live is wonderful.

HOLY PUKE!

Can't they be done by now? I mean, I feel truely sorry for the poor kids, but I am starting to feel sorry for myself, too. 2 weeks of puking and diarrhea even if it is 3 different kids is just not fun.

But being the hero I am, I have not only survived so far, but have even put in 1.5-2 hours of household work each day and have cooked nutritious meals. This means I have achieved a lot more in a certain situation then I would have a few years ago. I might not be decluttering, but I am holding the fort. Just barely. But I am.

What I am trying to tell you is, that change is possible, improvements are possible and you simply need to be patient with yourself and let yourself get back up when you fall. Just make sure you don't fall into a poodle of puke.

I AM SICK

My throat hurts, my ears sting. Yesterday I had a splitting headache and a tempeature. My husband has been sick for 5 days and the kids aren't their normal healthy self, either. It is rather discouraging to see the state of the house detoriate so fast. Fortunately from past expirience I know what I need to focus on in a situation like this. Unless you opt for paper plates, dishes are the top priority (not just for sanitary reasons.) Clothes are next on the list, because by the time your kids realize they don't have a single clean item to wear to school it's too late to start washing. Fortunately I am far from having hit rock bottom. Oh well. Maybe not that far. A friend of mine has offered to come help me in 2 days. (she is too busy tomorrow). But she is one of those women who, no matter what, always have a clean house. She has seen my house in bad shape and has never been anything but supportive and non judgemental, but I still don't want her to see it like this....again. Plus her super efficency always makes me feel a little stupid. I simply don't understand how she can clean up that fast, especially somebody else's house!

I did get the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and started the laundry. Other then that I more or less slept through the day. I do hope I feel better tomorrow. Even if that means clearing out the chaos!