RECLAIMING MY HOUSE

Last week I had 2 good days. That's twice as many than the 5 weeks before that. Too bad 2 days weren't enough to catch up. I worked hard thsoe 2 days. James went and got new dressers to replace the ones we gave away on Monday. While he pit them together I sorted through the clothes that where in the bigger dresser. Got rid of one big stack, sortet out what didn't fit and the rest is neatly organized  and in the dresser. I even got started on the toys that where spread all over the room and in that second dresser. I won't be bored the next couple of days. Or better weeks as I have a few more rooms to go!

300

Now wouldn't it be grand if I had some great announcement for blog post #300? Like:"my attic is cleared," "the garage is empty", " the basement is organized"? Yup, that would be grand. Unfortuantely we will have to stick with:"I am alive and kicking!"

The grand announcement will have to wait until #500.

SHORT NOTICE

I had 2 dressers I wanted to get rid of. They were in use, but I was dying to have them out of the house. They looked like the ones Jack and Jill got. Today I got a call. Somebody actually wanted them. Within 3 hours they were out of the house. Unfortunately the stuff that was in them is now in boxes and baskets. And I don't have a replacement for them yet. 3 hours is rather short notice to happily rearrange things in 2 rooms. At least for me. I can already see the spiral to desaster. 

Ok. Breath in, breath out. Maybe this is the push I need to finally reorganize those 2 corners that have been a mess the whole time anyway.  This just has to work out, I really don't need more chaos. 

THE 4 SEASONS

They say there is a reason for every season. I understand, I really do. I am still not looking forward to the one that is lurking in the shadows. Depression season is upon us. Some call it winter. I would, too, if it actually was winter. But winter means snow. Sunlight making the place sparkle so bright you have to squint your eyes shut or go blind. Winter menas icicles hanging from the roof and snow forts in the backyard. Not here. Here winter means cold and gray, wet and dreary. For about 4-6 months. Looks like we are looking at 6 months this year.

And wouldn't you know. As I was sitting here composing this post I went to check out FB and a friend of mine, who lives about an hour away posted this winter season's first picture of fallen snow. Usually my friends from Denver do that, but this year we beat them.

It's officially depression season. Put on a bright smile and brace yourself for it!

STILL SICK

I am still sick. Maybe I am sick again. Who knows, It doesn't matter. Fact is that I have not been functioning properly the last 2,5 months. The only reason we haven't gone under yet is that James was home half of the time, hired help, a handful of true friends who have cooked meals and have shuttled kids across town and a few fool proof routines like my laundry system.

I long to be back to normal. I am supposed to be resting but that stupid antibiotic is making me feel a lot better than I am and it is hard to resist the urge to get cracking. I can't believe that I lived to say I want to be able to do household chores. That just feels wrong.

OPERATION FRONT DOOR

There are many good places to start a thorough clean up and declutter. One of them is the front door. Why? Because it is such a relief when you can open your door wide and not worry about what people will think, or worse, not even be able to open it all the way because stuff is blocking it. 

I still feel the sting of failure from my 14 week challenge. So this time I am a little smarter and the challenge is "a little" smaller. It feels like the kind of project that I can actually get done. To make myself belief it is a true challenge I keep telling myself that I will start at the front door and continue through the whole house. We'll see about that soon enough, but for the moment I think I will let myself believe that. 

CALL ME PHOENIX

September has burnt me to a crisp. It brought a new (very neddy) baby, 2 nasty infections, one with a revolting round of antibiotics, barely escaped being admitted to the hospital, back to school and sleep deprivation. Fortunately James was home basically the whole month or I would not have survived.

I missed sweet Marie's first day of school and it broke my heart. She didn't mind much it seemed. I still want to cry thinking about it. I worked so hard towards it to have every thing ready and picture perfect. It was. Only I was missing in the picture.

James has cooked, cleaned, attend all the start of school meetings with teachers that I usually go to, made sure the kids got good slots for piano lessons and even tough he was home for a month it seemed I rarely saw him. He was out runnikg kids to and from appointments and made sure to shield me from the daily challenges of normal life, He took me to the doctor, and was available 24/7 when I was sick.

The last 4 weeks have been rough. Harder on me physically and mentally than I expected. And I expected things to be bad. Now exactly one month after my last post I would be lying if I said I was back to normal. I am not even back to functional. But at least I feel like I can one day be normal again.

I will rise like Phoenix from the ashes. Watch me.